this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Wolf@lemmy.today 15 points 1 day ago (9 children)

There was a silly little movie in the 80's called "Maximum Overdrive", written and directed by Stephen King.

In it Aliens somehow cause machines to 'turn' on human beings and attack us.

They could remake that movie now but instead of Aliens causing the machines to attack people, it could be malicious 'hackers' that do it, and it would be more believable that the original film.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 4 points 21 hours ago

The plot that kicks off Battlestar Galactica (2004) happens because pretty much everything uses wireless communications, including most systems within the space ships

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[–] ChiefPulaski@startrek.website 38 points 1 day ago (1 children)

when you buy a wifi-grill you kind of missed the point of grilling.

[–] Cornelius_Wangenheim@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

It's great for smoking though. I've done it the old fashioned way of staying up all night to feed wood into the smoker and I'll gladly take a wifi-enabled pellet smoker with a temperature probe over it.

[–] cantstopthesignal@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Why do you need wifi? You turn a knob and fill it with pellets every couple hours.

[–] Cornelius_Wangenheim@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (5 children)

To get the temperature probe data on your phone so that you don't have to repeatedly get up to check it. It's particularly useful for turkey, where the difference between moist and horribly dry white meat is only 5-10 degrees.

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[–] Goldholz@lemmy.blahaj.zone 23 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Can we go back to dumb tech?

[–] AniZaeger@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I'm a casino slot tech. Don't even get me started on the electronic table games that still use a dealer! Like Scotty said, "The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain.".

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[–] HalfSalesman@lemmy.world 4 points 21 hours ago
[–] Ironfacebuster@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Realistically they probably didn't use the traeger until the 4th, so they were about a year behind on "updates"

Unless you're my dad, then he finds any excuses he can to use his traeger. The thing can smoke a damn good brisket, software updates be damned!

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[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 138 points 1 day ago (4 children)

I have a Traeger and saved $200 because it was the model without WiFi.

I made a delicious turkey breast on Independence Day

[–] derg@lemmy.world 125 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Jokes on you when they invent a new kind of meat your grill can’t cook

[–] rem26_art@fedia.io 70 points 1 day ago (8 children)

DRM Ribs. The Salmonella will not die until you pay for Traeger's $19 a month subscription

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[–] N0t_5ure@lemmy.world 107 points 1 day ago (7 children)

I will never own a grill that has to connect to wifi. In fact, I actively avoid any appliance that adds unnecessary IOT functionality.

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[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

What happens if the grill resets anyway? You get back to the default wallpaper?

[–] unmagical@lemmy.ml 80 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What are the chances they shipped it on Thanksgiving vs Thanksgiving being the first time in a while the user turned it on?

[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 87 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This, but why does it need a firmware update and why couldn't it be setup to update on shutdown rather then power on?

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[–] cobysev@lemmy.world 42 points 1 day ago (5 children)

I guarantee this update didn't drop on Thanksgiving. Photo OP probably hasn't turned it on since their last BBQ months ago and is just noticing - on Thanksgiving - that an update pushed a while ago that they now need to install to get started.

Pro tip: Start up your electronics a day or two in advance of events, so you can pre-patch anything that needs it.

Source: Former IT guy here, who had to ensure that updates ran at the most convenient times possible for thousands of users. "Patching Tuesday" is an unofficial but well recognized "holiday" for IT folks. It's not first thing Monday morning, which could throw off the workflow for the week, but it also gives the max amount of time to resolve any issues that patching might cause, so we (hopefully) don't have to work through the weekend.

Pay attention to when your stuff requires patches. A lot of the time, it'll pop up on Tuesdays.

[–] mic_check_one_two@lemmy.dbzer0.com 31 points 1 day ago (7 children)

Source: Former IT guy here, who had to ensure that updates ran at the most convenient times possible for thousands of users.

I used to work at a theater owned by a city. So we used the city’s IT department, and their network. During COVID, live-streaming took off. The city wanted us to install a streaming video package. After a month or two of installing a full video system, we finally get around to testing the stream. Boot up AWS, and it runs fine. We’re streaming in full 4K. Great!

So the show rolls around. It’s Saturday, 7:30pm start time. We start the show… And the stream instantly shits the bed. Like we go from full gigabit upload speed, to less than a single megabit. We’re lucky to get 56kbps speeds. We’re getting one or two frames per second if we’re lucky.

Sunday, we test the stream ahead of time, and it works flawlessly. Show starts, and the upload speed drops to fucking dial up.

Monday morning rolls around, and IT strolls in to check their tickets. Sees a hundred from us, and gives us a call. They run a test on their end. No issues. They run a test on AWS. No issues. They run a test on the fiber backbone between the theater and city hall. No issues. They call the ISP. ISP said they didn’t have any issues over the weekend. IT shrugs, and marks the tickets as solved.

Next weekend, same thing. We’re wondering if IT is automatically throttling us, or if we have a malicious user on the network. We’re asking about QoS, or maybe automatic port control kicking in when the stream starts. Monday rolls around, and IT marks it as solved again.

Third weekend, same thing. This time, the city manager’s office is getting calls from angry patrons who paid for streaming and can’t watch their streams. Monday morning, IT rolls up. They run some more tests, and still can’t find anything wrong. They swear up and down that it’s nothing on their end, and it must be something on ours.

After four months of this back and forth, IT finally admits that they have all of their maintenance tasks to run at 7:30 over the weekend. Every single computer, server, and fucking toaster connected to the city network begins their updates at exactly 7:30. Thousands of city devices, all singularly focused on devouring our upload speeds. Servers run off-site backups. Those backups consume all of the upload speeds for the entire city network. IT refuses to change the time, because “this is what works for us. It’s after city hall closes, so we don’t have any users who are affected. It hasn’t been a problem in the past.”

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[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 33 points 1 day ago

pro tip

I get it. I hate it, but I get it.

another pro tip from someone else in IT: see that appliance with the digital screen? fuck it. don't get it. get the old shitty one that's $800 less that doesn't have WiFi or non-tactile buttons. you know what doesn't need firmware updates? a charcoal Weber grill.

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[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 32 points 1 day ago (12 children)

A grill should run on charcoal. It needs to get very hot and that's literally it.

There's a universe where I attach some electronic controller with a PID loop or something to a smoker, to maintain consistent temperatures via damper control. I'm not buying that off the shelf built into the machine though.

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[–] atthecoast@feddit.nl 4 points 1 day ago

Forwarded this to someone at Traeger. Will let you know if I hear back 🙂

[–] tnarg42@lemmy.world 38 points 1 day ago

...The sort of grill I will never buy.

[–] muusemuuse@sh.itjust.works 30 points 1 day ago (4 children)

I like my home automation tech but it needs to serve a purpose. Just being connected to wifi is not a selling point for me. Lights that turn on in the morning when I need to wake up are great. A thermostat that can reduce energy usage when nobody is home is also great. But a grill….what the fuck does Internet access do to improve the grilling experience?

And if it requires the cloud to work, I don’t consider it a functional product.

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