No Stupid Questions

As a teen I beat my fear of girls but realizing they're pretty much just like guys. Instead of treating them like untouchable angels, I started talking to them just like I would a guy friend. Well, mostly, not so crudely. OTOH, one major thing that made me realize they're the same is overhearing, or being included, in female groups and finding out they talk nasty as fuck!

And guess what? Women respond to that. And the prettier they are, the response is even better! They're so used to guys kissing their ass, trying to impress, etc., that a guy talking to them like a normal human being is refreshing.

And if you see that girl again, wave her down and say, "I'm sorry, I'm really shy and hope I didn't hurt your feelings."

Being nervous because it was a girl and not a guy is something you need to switch in your brain. It is a Human that wanted to speak to you. Once you adjust your thinking, the nervousness will go away. I understand people are shy, but being shy because of gender is a useless thing that will only harm your social skills & friendships. People are people. You will be ok.

First off, it’s OK. We all make mistakes and misrepresent our feelings sometimes, which can affect others in ways we don’t intend. The particular social accident you describe is also quite common. I promise she will quickly recover from the inadvertent rejection.

My answer is: practice. 8-9 years is a long time to be out of practice at anything of this sort.

There are a variety of ways to actively pursue that practice, some more creative than others, but the most natural way is simply to invite interaction with others in general such as, apparently, drawing on a bench at the park :)

As an aside - what you did is fine. Will she/others interpret it in various ways? Sure.

But leaving a situation that you might not have been comfortable with isn’t wrong.

What were you afraid of exactly?

So for context, I'm an asexual guy who had one girl in his classes at high school & went to a 75% male university on a course that was 94% male...

Right after graduating I had the same issues you're describing, just from "new experiences" more than anything, but when you go out into the world and start interacting with people you'll be fine - it's somewhat normal especially if you didn't have a drive to seek out women previously or even just didn't have the self confidence to

Also though, that sounds like a bit of a weird interaction as an introvert anyway, I don't think I'd have been super comfortable either way as I'd be expecting to be robbed or scammed or something, but if someone is expressing interest in something you're passionate about then they very clearly want to hear about it, so just say things about it even if it's cringe or not perfect

Everyone is entitled to their privacy. It's a basic human right. If you were alone and then a stranger approached you, you have every right to move away. You didn't do anything wrong.

It's an unfortunate situation because it seems like she regretted it too, but that's not on you. You did not cause that.

I don't think you did anything wrong. I hate people striking up a conversation like that as well.

You can train yourself not to panic, deep breaths, focusing on something in the middle distance, closing your eyes, counting to ten - whatever works for you. And then you can ride a situation like this out. Either by masking your discomfort or giving very curt replies. You can also just say "I'm very sorry, I'm not in the mood for a chat." But you mustn't worry that you made an extrovert sad. She'll get over it and maybe learn from this experience as well.

Idk about going forward in general besides truly believing that people are fundamentally 'good' and there's almost always nothing to fear... but I do think you're gonna have to apologise to the lady and explain what happened. It ain't a crime to be shy, and it would reassure her. Maybe compliment her if you're feeling brave! Or at least say something like "it's kinda cool to approach people randomly, I wish I were as comfortable...", that sounds like a good follow up to the apology.