Ask Lemmy

Two weeks after I explained to my father why I had an abortion ... and he calmly said he understood my reasons ... he told me I'd murdered his grandchild.

He was a real winner, my dad.

The monster that raised me was a real piece of work.

Context: she adopted me and 3 others. The other 3 were adopted when she was a single parent.

• “I didn’t want you. did.”
• “Stick to your own kind.” (In front of my mixed-ethnicity siblings, when I introduced a girl I was seeing to her)
• ”Ain’t no son of mine is going to be a ” (all 3 of my siblings had developmental disorders, I only asked to be tested)
• “I don’t want that in my house no more, I don’t want AIDS”
• “If you really hate me that much go back to your whore mother, she didn’t want you either”
• ”Nobody wants you, I don’t even want you.” (She used this one a lot)
• ”Where would you be if I didn’t take you in?” (Also used this one a lot)
• ”Read. My. Lips.” (I had moderate to severe hearing loss back then, and she refused to learn sign language. She would also get right in my face when she did that)
• ”You a now?” (When I pierced both of my ears)
• ”If you move out don’t ever come back, don’t call me, don’t talk to me, don’t ask me for diggity shit”

That last one was fun. I met my partner and snuck out in the middle of the night to fly across the world just to get away from her. She reported me as kidnapped multiple times even after I contacted the detectives AND her to let her know I was only following instructions. Then she denied she ever said that. That was the last time I spoke to her, over a decade ago.

I’m in therapy twice a week for the past few years, was recently diagnosed with adhd and autism, and non-binary transfem. My partner is Indonesian. She can rot in piss.

A few days ago my mom made a "joke" that clearly having good kids skipped a generation right after commenting about how well behaved my kids were.

With my own kids now I've been realizing how many of the "behaviors" my parents would complain about and expect me to improve upon were just normal kid stuff

• you are pathetic
• you make me want to vomit
• you are disgusting
• you are a disloyal, condescending asshole
• you are sickening
• I can’t wait until I no longer have to be around you

Borderline Personality Disorder is not a ride I ever asked to be on.

My step father told me about the time he told my biological father that he had slept with my mom.

I was a small child and we were all living in a house together, my mom, biological father and step father(my bio dads bff at the time). Step father took my bio father out and told him what they had done. My bio father was so happy to hear the news he shook my step father's hand and thanked him profusely. He then proceeded to tell my step father how he wanted to burn the house down with me and my mom in it so this is the best news he could possibly get.

After my step father told me this story he followed it up with "at that moment I should have known and left your mother" 🫠

My dad said various things about “dirty Mexicans”, eugenic stuff about black people or people with severe mental handicaps, and always had some offhand extreme solution for non-conformists who rocked the boat.

He kept it mostly under wraps when I was younger, but as he got older and the Fox News worm ate into his and his social circle’s brains it started leaking out a lot more.

Being sent off to “military school” was an occasional threat. Like that was going to magically fix things.

Reading this makes me realize how many people had really fucked up childhoods. I feel sorry for all of you, don't give up hope for humanity, and choose (if you can) how to live your own life. There are better people out there.

The money thing is such a fucked up thing to say. “Do you know how much money you cost?!” As if the price of raising children is something a 6 yo is responsible for!

If I was gay I’d have to be lobotomized, not would or could, I’d have to be.. and he’d do it himself. 10 yo and wanted my dad dead.

And the insane gaslighting! He’d stink of cigarettes, reeeeek! Clearly he’d been smoking, but would deny it with the shittiest lies: person X blew smoke in my face! I walked past someone who smoked!

Or when I got a bicycle, dad would guilt trip me af for having spent money on it. And whenever I couldn’t cycle, meaning it would take 10 yo me an hour to get there (20ish KM), he’d be fuming and say he’d sell the bike since I’m not using it..

I’m firmly a believer that having children shouldn’t be allowed for everyone. Some people are terrible and should be sterilized and enslaved. I just don’t know how to implement it, yet!

yeah. the majority of stuff they'd say was like that, in fact. it's part of why i don't talk to them anymore lol

My grandparents came to the US from Germany. Upon hearing my dad say black people that don’t like trumps (1.0) America should go back to Africa, i reminded him that most of them are way more American than we are. I could hear his brain break through the phone

I was eating dinner with my dad a year ago when he told me about how he believes jews secretly run the world and that there’s something fishy about the Rothschilds. I burst out laughing thinking my dad had suddenly developed a very modern online sense of humor, but unfortunately no.

I’ve never known my dad to be antisemitic, and he even explained that regular jews are a different group from the ones in control.

I straight up told him it’s ridiculous and that he needs to get off the internet, but he never agreed with me. I still don’t know how to handle the situation really.

Oh and my mom went borderline sovereign citizen a few years ago, but I don’t remember what insane thing she said first.

Let me add to that, this is something my own mother said while being of sound mind:

• parents should have the right to kill their children if they become unruly (She said it twice)

I had a fight with my sister and I threw away a box of brownies in anger, and my parents told me they should have just gone ahead with the abortion instead of backing down from it because my grandfather wouldn't allow it, I don't know if I hate my parents or my grandfather more.

Yeah my dad has said so many things that have left me stunned. I have had to explain tax brackets to this man so many fucking times. He keeps thinking if he goes up a bracket the overall tax % will increase and therefore he will actually have less money.