this post was submitted on 06 May 2025
517 points (97.4% liked)

Microblog Memes

8109 readers
5022 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Xande@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 2 days ago

If you do it the right way... one hit should suffice.

[–] AdamBomb@lemmy.sdf.org 77 points 1 month ago

+3 to hit vs. Popes, Cardinals, and Bishops. On hit, Popes who are alive but playing dead must save vs. Fortitude or die.

[–] DemBoSain@midwest.social 55 points 1 month ago (3 children)

It's a silver hammer, so it could also check if the Pope is a werewolf.

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 42 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Can't let that happen again.

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Someonelol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 27 points 1 month ago

The events inspired the band Powerwolf.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] kersploosh@sh.itjust.works 34 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Bang bang Vatican's gilded hammer came down on his head
do do dooo do
Bang bang Vatican's gilded hammer made sure that he was dead
whoa-o whoa-o whoa-o whoa-o

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 33 points 1 month ago

The hammer is actually a 100lb two handed weapon

[–] bdot@lemmy.world 31 points 1 month ago (2 children)

my favourite fact is that “factoid” doesn’t mean “little fact” but is actually starting to mean that

[–] creamlike504@jlai.lu 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

What does it actually mean?

Edit: Nevermind, @jerkface already answered.

load more comments (1 replies)

Hit him once. If he is silent, hit him again. If he is silent again, hit him again. If he remains silent, he is dead.

Hit him once. If he shouts, you've got two more swings to make him stop.

[–] Pacrat173@lemmy.ml 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So it's correctly labeled as a factoid then

[–] jerkface@lemmy.ca 21 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The -oid suffix is used to describe something that appears like something else, but is not that thing. An asteroid is something that looks like a star, but isn't. A factoid is something that looks like a fact, but isn't.

I used to introduce my common-law partner as my "wifeoid." She hated that but sometimes it is okay to put your own pleasure first.

[–] lime@feddit.nu 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

it's uncomfortably close to "femoid"

[–] jerkface@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 month ago

It was a different time.

[–] psoul@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A droid looks like a Dr. but isn't? Am I getting this right?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Nougat@fedia.io 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] f4f4f4f4f4f4f4f4@sopuli.xyz 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

D'oh, it should say "another target Cleric" to avoid confusion.

[–] InFerNo@lemmy.ml 16 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Is it to make sure, or is it to make sure?

[–] javiwhite@feddit.uk 8 points 1 month ago

They should abstain from the hammer this time round. Zombie pope is the 2025 twist no-one would see coming.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Crumbgrabber@lemm.ee 16 points 1 month ago (2 children)

What about the holy hand grenade?

[–] sik0fewl@lemmy.ca 14 points 1 month ago (2 children)

First shalt thou take out the Holy Hammer. Then, shalt thou strike three times, no more, no less.

Three shalt be the number thou shalt strike, and the number of the striking shall be three. Four shalt thou not strike, nor either strike thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, thy pope shall snuff it.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Xerxos@lemmy.ml 16 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

"One" hit

"Two" hit Pope: "Ouch!"

...

...

"What do we do now?" "Just hit harder, it's a self-solving problem"

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I bought one of those at Harbor Freight for like ¼ the price the Vatican probably paid.

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 20 points 1 month ago (6 children)

Yeah but it breaks after hitting 2 popes

[–] lime@feddit.nu 9 points 1 month ago

that's still a good 40-50 years of use!

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] El_Azulito@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (5 children)

I have one of these on my coffee table that’s decoration. Found it just laying in some room when I visited the Vatican in the 90s. Weird.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

It gives +5 to-hit and damage, +2d6 holy damage, +5 to carpentry skill, and can only be equipped by Catholics. It deals double damage to lycanthropes.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al 12 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Well you have to be sure. I wonder where they keep the Pope hammer in between deaths

[–] Rolder@reddthat.com 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Maybe the pope gets a bonk every day to ensure that he is, in fact, still alive?

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] InverseParallax@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

"I fear the Pope has died!"

"You can't say things like that! You have to be sure!"

*wham-"Ack!!" wham wham

"OK, I'm sure the pope is dead."

[–] flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 10 points 1 month ago

The ancient custom of throwing the body into the Tiber river is too unrefined for these modern times

[–] thesohoriots@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I prefer the Holy Ball-Peen.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] qbus@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago
[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

+5 damage and THAC0 against undead (Pope)

[–] Stamau123@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

you know it's an ancient artifact when it uses THAC0

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 6 points 1 month ago

The papal tappy taps

[–] KulunkelBoom@lemm.ee 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Which side do they hit him with?

[–] peteypete420@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] KulunkelBoom@lemm.ee 6 points 1 month ago (5 children)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] sirico@feddit.uk 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

That is some Guilliman level artifact

[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

The silver hammer of Saint Maxwell.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Live your life such that they have to verify your death

[–] smegger@aussie.zone 5 points 1 month ago

Clearly an anti zombie tool. Can't have the pope rising from the dead, it'd mess up the church's image.

load more comments
view more: next ›