That'd work until you happen to get a reptile enthusiast on the show that can recognize the species, at which point you just have a show of a guy completely missing the point whilst nerding out over snakes.
this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2025
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I would watch that show. ๐
Not a reptile enthusiast, but knowledgeable enough to know a few things about them.
A well fed snake, hell most snakes (not all, some constrictors you don't want to fuck with) won't see a human as food, and won't attack unless provoked. Don't sneak up on a snake, don't step on a snake, don't harass a snake and it won't give 2 fucks about your presence.
A venomous snake usually (there's always an exception) has a "neck", if you can see where it's head ends and it's body begins it's more likely venomous than it's danger noodle looking counterpart.
There are a lot of exceptions. Most of them, as it happens.
Vipers have that "neck" and a wider head than their bodies. Elapids typically don't, and can be extremely venomous. In fact, the most deadly venomous snakes in the world are elapids including cobras, taipans, and black mambas.
Tl;dr: Rarely wise to step on snek.
it's not only unwise to step on snakes, it's also rude. which is worse
If red touches black, you're ok, Jack.
If red touches yellow, you're a dead fellow.
This aphorism only works in North America, but it is a pretty reliable way to determine the difference between a coral snake... and a milk snake, also many other kinds of similar looking, non venomous snakes.
You may note that the milk snake has a bit more of a defined neck, head vs body seperation, than the venomous coral snake... which ... would mean if you followed your rule, you may end up a dead fellow.
...
Now... many, venomous snakes make some kind of an alert sound, a hiss or rattle or someother bodily mechanism of saying 'back the fuck up'.
But not all of them.
... and a great many venomous snakes... well they hide in the shrubbery and tall grasses, meaning you can easily accidentally come upon one if you're moving through brushland, or a wetland...
You're right that you should never intentionally sneak up on a snake... but... it is usually more like accidentally happen to be too close to one, hear the alert sound, waaay too close to be comfortable... and then you fucking freeze, try to figure out where exactly it is by your ears alone, and then very, very slowly back away untill you can't hear the rattle anymore.
At least thats what I did when that happened to me, and I lived, to insufferably recount the tale as I am now, lol.
There's... only one kind of rattlesnake in Eastern Washington state.
And it is venomous.
Say hello to my missed connection:
But hey, your 'does it have a neck' rule works for this one!
Too bad I never saw it, at all... its got pretty good camoflauge for the one to two feet tall grasses and shrubs it resides in.
Snake bites are of course, overall, a very uncommon thing for most people to be worried about... but if you are regularly involved in some kind of outdoor activity, or just kinda live out in the sticks, or are renting an AirBnB out there... you should probably familiarize yourself with the local wildlife.
...
As a final note, I am not any kind of snake expert at all.
But I do know that if you are, then the actual word for that is... Herpetologist. Expert in Herpetology.
Consult your local Herpetologist before you derp around in the badlands, lol.
...
EDIT: Final addendum: Female snakes often tend be considerably more pissy, apt to warn and stike, when they are in heat.
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I would like to nerd out over snakes please
Count me in!
This comment section is amazing. Good job all
And some of them are poisonous. You need to eat snakes to procreate.
Guess we should fear all snakes then! Or all sharks! That hasn't lead to extreme fear based reactions where entire populations suffered because of fear due to a portion of the population being potentially dangerous.
The point about not knowing which one might be dangerous is a good point, but example is terrible. Use unsafe mechanical equipment or something instead.
Dudes will queue to use unsafe mechanical equipment, while telling you "hold my beer".
Set that beer on the unsafe mechanical equipment you damn amateurs!
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I think the point is that people who say (shout) "Not All Men" are usually frustratingly insensitive and the thought of throwing them into a snake pit is fun. We know it's not all men, we aren't stupid, but we also know that even 1% would be one percent too many to feel safe alone with a stranger (and, unfortunately, statistics suggest harassment is certainly more than 1%!).
Well, most people aren't that stupid. There's a few who are, but I don't think they'd be posting here, lol.
That said, reading the comments, I get why some are offended even though being male is the privileged class in this comparison (after all, I don't feel afraid to walk home at 1am). Men are fucked by the patriarchy, told to repress their emotions, degrade people who break from masculinity, and so forth. But instead of saying "you're being sexist against men," please try to think of the systemic problems that led to that X% of assholes who make it unsafe for a woman (or POC, LGBTQ, etc) to walk alone on a street in America.
after all, I don't feel afraid to walk home at 1am
That is not because you are part of a "class". It might be your fully personal thing, it depends on your previous experiences, it depends on where you live or go (and this can also be an expression of being in a privileged social class), etc.
Depending on where I go, I do not feel safe walking alone all the time. I do not consider being sexually assaulted among the possibilities, but instead perhaps being mugged, or be bothered by someone looking for trouble or wanting to feel "alpha male" (as someone who grew up in rough neighborhoods, this is way too common during teen years).
I really don't understand where this idea that males have the privilege of going outside without ever worrying about anything comes from. I have seen it multiple times in discussions around this topic.
There can be multiple factors, we call it intersectionality. You're feeling unsafe because of social class or nationality or another factor. That does not mean you do not benefit from being male in a world ultimately built around men. That's why people use the term privilege, since you have at least one advantage (others could include health, straightness, etc). And fortunately it's less of an advantage today than it was a hundred years ago.
And that's not to say life is perfect under that category-- I literally just mentioned some men's issues. I'm just not exactly worried about someone stalking or kidnapping me over it.
You're feeling unsafe because of social class or nationality or another factor.
Not in this case. I just do not feel safe because crime exists, and I can become a victim roughly as much as anybody else (probably slightly less than an elder person, in some cases for example). Some other people might have additional worries (like being attacked for racial motives), of course.
That does not mean you do not benefit from being male in a world ultimately built around men.
Which is something I have never claimed. What I challenged is the view that such privilege materializes in being able to roam free and fearless everywhere and whenever.
I'm just not exactly worried about someone stalking or kidnapping me over it.
Of course, there might be a qualitative difference in which worries I have vs someone else, but the original comment suggested "not worrying", which I find it absolutely unrealistic.
That's snakist.
It's a trap fellas! Playing with snakes is gay so you get boned whichever way you answer.
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How to differentiate between snakes easily: https://reptilestime.com/venomous-vs-non-venomous-snakes/
That said, snakes tend to avoid being visible, as they could become someone's lunch, so YMMV.
You can also tell if a bite is venomous by the marks (usually venomous snakes have fangs, non-venomous have teeth).
This entire article is an irresponsibility stupid thing to put on the internet. It lacks the asterisk of "in North America" at the top because all it contains a is a list of halfassed ways to determine if you're looking at a viper or not, and for the most part rattlesnakes (which are pretty damn distinctive to begin with). True, many venomous snakes in North America are indeed vipers including copperheads, our several aforementioned varieties of rattlesnakes, and cottonmouths.
But the most deadly of the snakes found in and around North America and indeed the rest of the world are not vipers; they're elapids or colubrids, which display few or none of these alleged telltales.
For instance, here is a coral snake which is an elapid and one of the few snakes you'll encounter in the continental US that can absolutely kill you stone dead with its neurotoxic venom.
Take note of the:
- Lack of triangular head
- Round pupils
- Fangs not visible
- No rattle
- Banded pattern
- Fairly blunt tail
...And it also has at least two very similar lookalikes which are not dangerous to humans, namely the milk snake and the kingsnake. So, are you absolutely sure which one you're looking at before you touch it? A better idea is, don't touch it.
And outside of North America this is even worse advice because the rest of the world is absolutely rotten with deadly non-viperid snakes.
Apart from the coloration this could just as well be a simple corn snake, which are absolutely harmless. Despite having owned (mildly venomous) snakes myself for years I still wouldn't touch any wild specimen without adequate protection.
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Flip it around.
Dating show where the men have a one in six chance of being hooked up with a psychotic.
Now watch the guys who'd line up for a chance to be on the show.
That's better odds than we normally get
Thanks for proving my point