Hegseth has got to stop leaking his chats.
this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2025
145 points (94.5% liked)
Facepalm
3156 readers
81 users here now
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Congratulations!!!!
You win the internet today
I can't help but imagine a table full of people holding their glasses up to cheer and one person upside down with their bare ass in the air lol
Not just a bare ass, but a bare ass with either a beer bong or a turkey baster inserted into it.
There's something extra fun about this post in that alcohol taken anally is far more effective since it bypasses the digestive tract and gets absorbed directly into the blood stream from the colon. Like 2 oz vodka mixed with 4 oz lubricant shot up in an enema will have you SMASHED. So having a few glasses of wine put up there will make that a very memorable Thanksgiving.
Memorable for everyone else, yeah.
Ohhhhh yeah.
Had a fling with someone who was into butt chugging for a bit. To not get inappropriately wasted, they'd have 2 oz of wine for an entire evening. This would put them at just past tipsy and they were like 6 ft tall, for reference.
I need to hear more about this person.
They were a phenomenal fencer in their heyday and continue to make just the most amazing cookies.
Sounds like a person of renaissance, a true warrior poet.
I remember a case a few years ago where a woman was charged with manslaughter or something similar in the death of her husband. He wasn’t supposed to have alcohol at all for medical reasons but really wanted it. At his request she gave him an alcohol enema which killed him. IIRC they had been warned specifically against doing that, which was part of why she was charged.
Since no one's answered the question, yes it would show up on a test.
As long as it doesn't kill you because you are bypassing your liver and stomach that way and it'd be super easy to overdo it.
"Just a few glasses" with no hint of irony
That was a segment on "1,000 Ways to Die"
But not the breath analyser right? Do they use analanalyser, or just bloodtest?
The breathalyzer tests the alcohol in the breath. An analyzer tests it...well I'll let you figure that out.
What a dimwit whoever named yzers for your bum like that.
It would show up on a breathalyzer. It doesn't measure what you drank, but rather what's in your blood.
no a breathalyzer is the machine they make drivers blow into to check the alcohol in their breath. That machine then estimates your Blood Alcohol Content. This is why it's generally advised to refuse a breathalyzer in lieu of a blood test, which draws blood and analyzes that sample directly.
~~That said, any probation-ordered test is certainly a blood test, because only a blood test could check for other drugs besides alcohol.~~
The breathalyzer works because you're body tries to remove some of the alcohol through your lungs, not because of leftover traces from the physical act of drinking. That's why none of the various things people stuff in their mouth to try to fool the breathalyzer work.
oh wow you're right. that's pretty cool to know.
That's... I don't know where you got that from... Probation doesn't take blood samples. You pee in a cup. Trust me. I got 4 months left... And refusing a breathalyzer is so that you avoid blowing way to high on a DUI charge. If your twice the limit there's a stiffer penalty. By not blowing, you lose your license for a year automatically, at least in the state of Florida, but you can avoid fucking yourself by not submitting to a breathalyzer.
ooooh right it is peeing in a cup for probation drug tests. The blood sample is when you get pulled over. mb mb - got a little off-track. Either way it's not a breath test. And I'm pretty sure a breath test would return clean if you drank vodka one night and got tested the next morning
I'm not sure about Florida but I'm pretty sure you have the ability to opt into a blood test for DUIs, like you can choose to not to a Field Test (and you always should, those are completely arbitrary) - in lieu of other options. Maybe it's a state thing. I don't live in Florida. Fuck the USA.
Well, no... They don't do blood samples when you get pulled over here for DUI either. If your in an accident and can't submit a breathalyzer they will draw blood at a hospital. You either take the breathalyzer or you don't. If you fail the field sobriety test and refuse the breathalyzer, it's a DUI, automatic one year driving suspension. Mandatory minimum. And, not to be an ass, but if you could refrain from he whole "Fuck the USA" thing, it would be appreciated. It didn't add to the context of an intelligent conversation and It's not our fault the POTUS is an aggravating, shit-pot stirring old fuck... I mean, it kind of is... I voted, but not for that prick. Thanks.
Found Kavanaugh's alt account!
One day you're just a normal guy, then - BOOF - you're on the supreme court.
And if you don't remember why, you should unplug your butt
But they really only test for it if they think you're drinking at work
It's r/probation. If he got a DUI or something, he wouldn't be allowed to drink, and they do random testing.
To answer this guy's question, yes, it would show up, because the alcohol is present in your blood, and thus, your pee.
Actually it's not normal to have blood in your pee
Naw, i think thats just you.
Ah, you're right, must have been a blockage in the pee tube. I picked around with a needle in there, and now I also get blood. Thanks!
Always glad to help someone increase their blood flow!
The poop hole loophole only goes so far.
I wonder which option their family would prefer...
😄
This is a complete new level of stupid.
The science says that for it to work, you need two Turkey drumsticks in first to soak up the alcohol quickly afterwards. Even better with mash, carrots and stuffing
Im suprosed wine enemas aren't a recommended cure for Measles by the new and improved health department.