The Onion

Oh this one was close to getting me

I didnt blink an eye

Also, Google will rename Canada "USA's 51th state" and Groenland "This belongs to me"

The crack of his ass is big enough

Honestly, does the Onion help? I feel like it shows things could be worse so what bad thing is happening right not is not as bad.

Every time I see a headline like this I pray to God there's an onion somewhere around it.

The Onion is jacking me up. I thought this was real for a few secs.

"Economists have never thought of this!"

I had a few seconds where I was trying to fathom how he would even be suggesting that to be possible before I saw it was the onion.

...finally, this morning after 250 years of continuous digging, mostly by illegally detained inmates, the Panama Canal is finally home! From the center of Limburg field in SanDiego, thru the Texan sun, past Louisiana and right thru Disney World Florida!

As Mexico and Panama reconstruction continues, some say it could have been easier to just dig here from the beginning. But who can forget the views from Yucatán 150 years ago? What about when the canal passed thru michoacan and you could just pull avocados growing on the sides of the canal... The north side actually. Am I right? Yes, it was difficult, but we did it!

Took me a minute to see the community

So the promised wall to Mexico is now a moat instead.