Perl. Its installed everywhere I need to run it and stuff I wrote over 20 years ago is still doing exactly what it should.
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You'll be damned if you ever need to know what exactly you made it do 20 years ago though as Perl is a write-only language ;p
That's the joke, but it's really not true.
You can write unintelligable code in most languages.
Perl's syntax is fine, and you can write beautiful code with it - but it will also let you write fugly code that works.
I think those who say this seriously just don't understand Perl, or even programming generally. (Whilst I like Perl, I'm also proficient in C, Java, JS, Python, PHP, Bash and probably a few more, so I'm not just promoting the only thing I know.)
Lisp.
It just feels extremely natural to me, so it's difficult to pinpoint specific features I like. But two such features stand out: the parantheses-based syntax and the extreme interactivity.