Ask Lemmy

Not what I would do, but the safest way is to villify then execute small and unpopular minorities (in the minority/majority sense) and then cater to the monolithic block that emerges. Super evil but it works.

If I have absolute control of the media, this seems ridiculously simple. I've no interest in material possessions or the hoarding of wealth, so I'll implement large scale tax reform designed to reduce our current levels of income inequality, kill oil subsidies in favor of green tech investment, truly universal worldwide healthcare, and mandated percentage worker ownership of companies.

The problems of our world are manufactured by those currently in power in order to enrich themselves. While it might take a few generations to fix the communities plagued by religious toxicity with widespread access to a good, secular education, I truly believe that limiting the capitalist's ability to rape and pillage would be enough to maintain widespread popular support. Provided, of course, that those capitalists can't use their control of the media to discredit and slander me to the point people vote against their own self-interests.

Establish a system where voting Approve provides tangible personal benefits, Abstaining remains a safe, comfortable default, and Disapproving results in immediate personal drawbacks. Maintain a decent standard of living, encourage open non-violent expression, and quickly address problems so people rarely feel compelled to choose Disapprove. By making Approval the path to greater prosperity, Abstention harmless, and Disapproval costly, the majority either Approve or simply do nothing, ensuring that discontent never coherently organizes into a mass disapproval large enough to threaten your life.

I'd rather die. But while we're at it, I'll make it my goal to get everyone to vote against me. The world will at least have a taste of unity against a common enemy for once. It shouldn't be difficult anyway.

Free cheesesticks for everyone!

Send out a mailer periodically to everyone in the world say how your government helped you and your family this week.

Pay a bunch of influencers to speak nuanced praise. Yes, it's a propaganda machine, but without one, disapproval would arise based on completely non-factual bases.

Institute a fair taxing system, that allows successful people to get reasonably far ahead, to a limit, but does not leave others behind at their expense.

Train up a large joint military exclusively in de-escalation and disaster response. Squabbles between belligerent parties would just be flooded with this neutral force to mediate the issue and ease tensions as quickly as possible.

Tackle worldwide issues of health and disease, climate change, food security, shelter, social mobility, education, transport. Each country would be incentivized to make their own countries' resilient, but other neighbours would chip in resources if one is falling behind or is hit by disaster. Institute worldwide minimum safety standards for all labourers and empower individuals to report unsafe conditions.

Slowly modify religion (release new versions of the Bible, Quran etc. that remain mostly true to their origins but emphasize the "be nice to each other" parts and remove the "kill anyone that doesn't believe this/doesn't follow these rules to the letter" parts). Bring leaders of these religions together to discuss promoting inter-religious peace.

Hold annual community pride, national pride and world pride days, to celebrate humanity's accomplishments, establish unity and comradery with your neighbours, and an opportunity to give casual feedback to your local authorities, national authorities, and me (before they hit the disapprove switch, hehe).

• build a childhood museum early on
• change all industry buildings from sweat shop to easy does it
• enact the Bribe Faction Leaders, Food for the People, Free Housing, National Day, Social Security, Hola Presidente, Sensitivity Training, Papal Visit, and Pollution Standards edicts
• make sure average pay is above Caribbean pay
• use the cathedral to claim any Tropicans that are peacefully protesting me are heretics
• have a nuclear weapons program to protect against invasion from the US and USSR
• ensure diverse food and entertainment
• hold all scheduled elections and give a speech every each one acknowledging the lowest happiness variable and promising to do something about it, while also praising the least happiest faction

Make up some bs problems and be the one to fix them, I suppose

Weekly richest person in the world slaughter.

I don't. Nobody has the magical ability to make anyone listen to them.

I get convicted for rape and fraud. We have empirical evidence that it works.

There is no way. People would say they disapprove just to watch you fucking die, even if you gave them everything they wanted. Fuck that.

Easy. High taxes on the rich and spend that money to give good universal social programs, and also avert climate catastrophe. The tiny fraction of rich people will disapprove but screw them anyways.

The hard part is getting the political will to do the obvious right thing when politics is controlled by the rich.

I would automatically forgive every debt of every person in the bottom 75% of income.

I would then institute a new currency that cannot be exchanged for the old currency and devalue all currently existing currency in the world.

I would replace all of those currencies with a credit, where one credit is worth one hour of unskilled labor, meaning that the minimum wage would be set to one credit.

Developing new skills and providing that labor at higher skill levels would give you federally mandated minimum multipliers of your minimum wage.

Worldwide I would make it a rule that the C level executives of any company are directly personally responsible for the actions of their company as a whole, meaning that if a mining company chooses to disregard safety measures and get one of their workers killed then all of the executives of that company are guilty of manslaughter and will be tried as if they personally slaughtered that man.

Every company that is currently traded on the stock market would have to have external oversight so that they cannot monopolize their field.

Every company that utilizes software must submit their software to a federally secured library with all of the source code and all of the steps needed to recreate their software.

This will be given copyright protections for 21 years, after which time the code will become public domain.

All copyright will be set to 21 years from the date of its creation.

All nuclear weapons will be destroyed and converted into fuel for nuclear reactors.

Every person currently in prison who did not commit a violent act will be automatically pardoned.

Any person who did commit a violent act and who has more than 10 years left on their sentence will be immediately executed.

The maximum amount of time a person can be incarcerated will be capped at 10 years. If a person does a crime that requires incarceration of greater than 10 years time they will be executed.

If a prisoner participates in a work program they will receive the minimum wage that they deserve based off of their qualifications.

I would also abolish all health insurance and instead transition to single-payer across the world. All hospitals will be nationalized and required to achieve a set minimum capability to be certified as a hospital.

I would forgive all debts between nations and remove all tariffs as this is now my world and there are no debts between my Nations and there are no tarrifs between my Nations.

Every country or collective will be given the absolute right to operate with its own presidents and leaders and groupings as they so choose without molestation from other people or groups.

In the event of a dispute there will be a world Court and you will argue your side with the world Court and if they are unable to make a decision then it will be given to general vote to decide the outcome.

Being as that there are no officially established Nations anymore, people will not require visas. You will have a license to operate a vehicle and the freedom to go wherever you are capable of going in the entire world.

I would also demilitarize the world to a reasonable degree and spread out small militias to act as a policing force.

Of the police would no longer have qualified immunity in America or anywhere in the world and every police person would carry a camera on them at all times when they are performing their duties.

Turning off the camera or having a malfunction in that camera that is not immediately reported while you are interacting with a member of the public will be grounds for severe consequences up to and including execution.

After that I would just steer the course we haven't landed on Mars yet we've not begun to colonize the solar system we haven't repaired the damage to the planet there would be several special interest groups established to achieve those things and if despite my utopian concept the majority of the world decides that I'm not worth it than it the very least I'll have made enough positive impact to be satisfied with the outcome.

Step 1. Ask the world for 1 year decision amnesty while I get my bearings.
Step 2. Bring together the different government run hacking groups and direct them to obtain the root certificates the devices use to communicate back to the tallying servers.
Step 3. Rewrite all death votes to be approved.
Step 4. Scrub the internet of this entire thing. Because if it isn't on the internet then did it really happen?
Step 5. What world leader? You all vote for your own national governments.
Step 6. Return to be a nobody because fuck that pressure.

Any non-corrupt politician would be unstoppable if they honestly attempted to strive for at least a few of these:

• election reform
• single payer
• abolish private medical insurance and fold those companies into a 100% taxpayer funded (Single Payer) national healthcare system much like they have in Canada and South Korea. (Anywhere else doesn’t have true Single Payer.)
• repeal Citizens United
• bring back Glass Steagall
• anti-genocide/ cutting off the infinite money tap that the AIPAC/IDF command
• prosecute Israel (and the politicians that enabled them in the US should also be tried in front of The Hague) for crimes against humanity
• prosecute George W. Bush and company for the Iraq war. Imprison them for the rest of their lives.
• publicly execute Jon Bolton in the most brutal way possible using weapons from arms manufacturers that he openly works for 😅
• student loan reform (without bullshit means testing)
• reparations
• stop spying on US citizens and dissolve the CIA/NSA/FBI’s conflict of interest with ALL tech companies in the US. Facebook is a DIRECT feed to the NSA and law enforcement and that needs to stop not be ramped up under the guise of “protecting us from terrorism” like Kamala asserts and ends up being used solely to go after whistle blowers and protesters.
• break up the conglomerate farms that our government actively encourages to put poison in our food that they then feed to only poor children in our schools while the rich kids get organic diets.
• reform the FDA and USDA (compare the list of banned chemicals in the EU to here and tell me that someone isn’t greasing someone’s palms in exchange for POISONING us with roundup, etc)
• police DEmilitarization
• stop writing blank checks to the military industrial complex under the guise of “helping”, sending vast sums of money that would EASILY pay for Single Payer to be burned in futile proxy wars with Russia
• force car companies to make self driving car technology open source and introduce rigorous standards and best practices for this software that is responsible for human lives
• break up the airline industry
• break up the banking industry
• audit the Fed
• disallow Black Rock and other conglomerates from owning homes
• disallow real estate purchases from non US citizens
• disallow real estate price fixing and penalize the companies that did it
• make college free for EVERYONE and raise taxes on the rich to pay for it
• force NVidia to open source CUDA/ZLUDA
• decriminalize marijuana
• fund a high speed rail system in the US
• reform the Supreme Court and bring Clarence Thomas up on treason charges under the penalty of death
• immigrants no longer in cages (rather than ramping up putting immigrants in cages and just marketing it differently)
• end the embargo on Cuba
• penalize countries and corporations financially for pollution. Make it prohibitively expensive for Temu, Amazon, SHEIN, and Alibaba to ship their goods over oceans on the worst polluting internal combustion engines on earth: container ships. In reality, it was our Clintonite, globalist Democrats (the good guys!) that actively encouraged corporations to manufacture overseas.
• reward other countries and corporations financially for green policies
• dissolve the two party system and bring the DNC and GOP up on treason charges
• give Edward Snowden immunity for his “crimes” and protect him as a whistle blower
• fund the fediverse and other decentralized technologies that have a direct positive effect on democracy
• socialize and break up Amazon into twenty companies
• open source and decentralize Twitter for the crime of election interference
• force Amazon, Google, Alphabet, OpenAI, Meta, and Apple to open source at least a large chunk of their tech stacks
• force pharmaceutical industry to open source their tax-payer funded research and products that were created using government funding
• socialize Google (for the crime of election interference and others)
• fund RISC-V chip technologies instead of closed source technologies to bring chip manufacturing back to the US
• socialize Meta (for the crime of election interference and other crimes)

Go the Warhammer 40K emperor route: set up nukes worldwide, triggered by a pacemaker on me. I die, the world dies.

May I point out this entire question is fundamentally broken.

I have absolute authority over the entire world? I order everyone to vote 'Approve' on me. "But wait!" you say, "You can't just order them to do that! They'll never listen to you!"

And that could be absolutely true. But if it is, then my authority is no longer absolute - in which case, no course I take will work, because anyone can elect to not follow it. I can't compel any group of people - nations, religions, corporations, the local elderly golfer's association - to do anything. And the second they realize that, they'll break off to pursue their own agendas.

At most, I can select one broad coalition who I think will work with me, and try to leverage a smaller group. But now we're just back to good ol' factionalism, and that's not a long-term winning solution.

I press the red button and end it all.

Approval ratings don't matter anymore.

You're welcome.

How much control of the media do I have? Will fox news be all "president figjam helped raise 2 million people out of poverty with YOUR tax dollars!"

How frequent are the votes?

No more homework, ice cream for everyone, bedtime is at midnight instead of 9

I would die pretty quickly, so I'd do as much good as I could in the time I had. Mostly tons of wealth transfer.

You must maintain 50% + 1 vote of "Approve", exactly 50% Approve / 50% Disapprove still means death for you. "Abstain" is not a vote means it isn't counted.

All the world's population is super diverse. Hard to convince them.

So my strategy is to maximise the Abstain voters, and then it's only a small group of actual voters that I need to convince for my actual ideas.

I manipulate people into believing that all this voting is something super special and complex and first you need to understand lots of things about the whole world before you will be able to make correct decisons etc. This is going to work because most of the world's population is rather uneducated, so they would feel quite inferior and always vote Abstain.

You cannot refuse this...

Yeah, no, I'm refusing this, dying sounds less compliment, and yeah, I did read the rules.

I would promise some pretty decent things. Then, secretly, hire a "shady" group of people (in exchange for loads of money) to design and implement a device that would eradicate the world via nuclear chain reaction, lock the device and give me control so that only I can activate it, give me the ability to set a trigger function so if i did die instantly, it would automatically activate.

Basically blackmail them into this approval rating BUT follow through with every promise. Which goes:

Divide the world into certain "geo-categories" where they will be transported and accommodated based on their values and governmental/economic ideals. Of course, this isn't perfect. There are possibly infinite combinations of "rights" people want today. Most would be modeled after existing countries. You can pick a country and move there. Any countries that have very similar governing styles would be linked in sub-governing bodies but not physically linked.

Most places would be complete with freedoms, but instead of democracies, they would apply to move to another jurisdiction that supports their views. Not forced but given financial accommodations and means to do so. I would appoint the leaders and from them on they will be voted on for the most part.

Vote for me: you get pretty much any freedoms, liberties, and rights. Equality and equity. Those who really want to live in a dictatorship sub-government would just move there, but I doubt anyone truly wants that. Other than that, I wouldn't control much just oversee every country's actions and maybe intervene in cases of natural disaster and to block proposals of war.

• because of the elimination of economy types, all current money would be converted into a worldwide currency. No income tax. Everyone who worked would accumulate "points" and spend them. Trade would be free and worldwide, no tax whatsoever needed. No need for gold to back anything up if all countries will now be awarded these points based on the debt they are owed. Prices of common necessities and commodities needed for life would have price caps. No limit on how low a price can be. Monopolies can exist with a requirement to donate substantial amounts to charities and a fund to be given to a jurisdiction's government to find a business to become new competition which would then eliminate the monopoly. So, the incentive to not monopolize would be that they would have to fund any future competition for a while until things get closer to a balance.

Healthcare is provided as a percentage of income rather than any fixed rate. This allows medical professionals to still be paid efficiently, but everything is affordable. Everything can be turned into a percent based payment plan and based on household income. All factors of monthly expenses: bills, food, etc will be considered. So, if you are injured, you can't afford that vacation anymore because that isn't a necessary expense and some of that will be factored into payment plans.

Everyone's credit is converted into a percent of 100. 100 percent being that they always pay on time-- including utility bills. Anyone with bad or negative credit or any hits to their credit will be reset to zero. To build back to 100 would take an average of a year. All debt will be awarded to collectors and debtors as points with no loss to those who owe. They would then be reset to zero credit. New debt would work the same as today but must be paid back as a percentage from now on and cannot be a financial burden or it will be paused. Wages will be garnished based on a percent in this manner. In other words polel will always be able to afford any basic living expenses. Debt does not include mortgages, or loans to be forgiven but converted into a percentage payment plan. If someone accrued many types of percentage based payment plans for debt, such as medical, home, car etc, it will be calculated only after basic expenses are paid. (Housing, utilities, food, transportation to work, school for children)

Money will be made by working, selling things or awarded in cases of disability or retirement. All retirement ages would be the same--60 yrs old.

All businesses' worth will be converted into these global points. (Name of currency to be determined)

Basically everyone and every entity's wealth will be the same just in a universal currency. Probably the currency unit that is worth the most every thing would be measured against and converted and then all converted to this universal one.

Laws will be changed based on common sense of leaders which can be freely elected for one year at a time for all positions and most countries. If you create a dictatorship, the laws have to be fair and cannot restrict travel.

Rights to bear arms would be upheld on a condition of no criminal history. All would have trackers that are designed to emit a signal and if broken (and no longer emitting) would flag a system and would be confiscated. Any public areas would alert a system if any armed individual enters that area. This is to stop sub-governments from initiating any corrupt control acts. Police would be government funded, require yearly license renewals and an annual mental health and competency test. Free of charge.

All education would include funding based on a fee that is also a percentage, so you won't be broke. Language classes for immigrants would be free.

Since all money would be digital and points based, it could be given infinitely by the government. Trade would be free. A country would export and automatically get points from the other government without the other government losing money. There would be no way to just give money for no reason. It would either be from trade, work, or selling a product or service based on an unhackable machine locked with the security of the global government, me. (A bio key, perhaps)

This would require a little extra trust between sub-governments to not exploit the system and freely give points( for example based on a trade scam where a country could set a price and the government can just give points for it without losing money) it will be audited monthly by use of an advanced AI algorithm. All trade will be based on demand (and supply obviously).

If something is rare, there would be a price cap increase for trade.

So, you are making an observation that money here is less valuable, right? Well, the government can't give any money without a justification for it being earned. Also there will be import caps based on supply and population, so no one buys out an entire country's monthly export supply.

I may have overlooked some flaws but it will evolve.

Or

Don't vote for me: RIP earth.

Universal healthcare for all.

Year 1: Eliminate Food and Water poverty.

Year 2: Porn is legalized everywhere, and there's a world government official porn site that's always free. Free smartphones for everyone as well.

Year 3: Universal Housing and sewage.

Year 4: Sex work is legalized everywhere (this might be popular enough to coast you an extra year) and ensured to be safe for the sex workers.

Year 5: Universal Child care

Year 6: Drugs are legalized everywhere

Year 7: Universal Elderly care (+ free healthcare for the USA weirdo country)

Year 8: Universal Education and media translation to top 10 most spoken languages. Also the top media franchises of each existing country will be freely available online now as well in a "cultural digital vault".

Year 9: Eliminate country borders, issue new universal passport, set up new cultural ethnic / geographical regions instead that exist only to help with political and business management. Begin 5 year disposable plastics phase out (medical exception though), eliminate plastics and pseudoplastics from foods and cosmetics, Worldwide public transportation system + Continental Hypertrain System project. Set up a world government that can only be compromised of elected STEM degree holders that have a job in their role, and bars anyone that has ever owned / owned a company or worked in any petroleum based industry. Esperanto is also more the official world government language, Linux and FOSS official world government software usage, and lawyers can now only work under the government for fixed rate. Everyone has access to a lawyer by right. These foundational laws cannot be changed.

Also announce I have been contacted by extraterrestrial life, and was told they will greet us if we survive the great filter and set up solar system wide travel and infrastructure as a species. Oh, and limit wealth/assets to be no higher than 200 million euros equivalent (inflation adjusted) worth. There will be a new currency set up as well.

Year 10: Announce I'm "retiring" from direct rule but will intervene if 57% of the world votes for me to enact something. Die probably. If the alien and world government gambit does pay off, maybe coast off previous popularity for a couple years and just have fun until summoned or dead.

Keep saying I'll make things better but never take the political risks necessary to actually do it. Give the financial industry everything it wants.