Melbourne

It's one of those "falling asleep patting the cat" nights. Goodnight all ❤️

Saturday Weather: Is hot

Saturday Me: Let's spend ALL day working in the yard without so much as a lunch a break, lopping trees and shovelling compost and mulch and taking a massive trailer load of junk to the tip!

Sunday Weather: Is rainy and a bit muggy

Sunday Me: Even though it's raining, let's keep going cleaning up more after yesterday's activities and filling up another trailer load!!!

Today Me: You idiot. Everything hurts. I hate you.

Can't sleep. Miniest was upset before bed about how one day we'll all be dead and she'll be the only one left for a while. Pretty heavy stuff and she was crying and wanted to be hugged to sleep. I comforted her and told her about how when you're young death's hard to fathom because you haven't started really living yet. How it's like before you were born when there was nothing because you had no consciousness, but once you have consciousness it's hard to stomach losing it. How it's like for me in a way, with my parents and grandparents dead and my siblings are all half siblings who are much older. And I worry about the same thing but the opposite way around, that one day I'll be dead and you kids will be on your own without me to care and protect and advise. Then she told me she'd like to travel and particularly go to America because there's some really cool food she'd like to eat there, but it's full of racists and idiots and guns so it's probably not a place she'll go. Then she fell asleep and I'm thinking too much now I guess.

Some people need to either get to the point or shut the fuck up in meetings seriously.

I have a problem with overthinking about things and events that occur or may occur as a result of something.

It's definitely one of the things that gives me a great amount of stress and anxiety.

I keep thinking about things and the possibilities and sometimes bad or unpleasant things that happen stay in my mind for quite awhile.

I don't quite know how to handle those feelings and what I should do.

It's been suggested that I just move past things and forget, or distract myself to take my mind off of things or I be more stubborn about my own feelings and harden up?

There's been other things, like for example I followed all the steps and did things as soon as I realised or possible and I still get blamed for not doing it soon enough and copped some barbed words, I know it wasn't my fault but still it bothers me. (That was what I was stressing about)

There's possibly more to come in the future as the problem hasn't come close to be resolved and I hope I don't keep thinking about what might happen.

Apologies for the rant.

I hope that job I interviewed for last week calls me back 🤞🏾

It'd be great leverage.

Lol

Finally managed to get a hold of one of my friends.

Been an unlucky day where I’ve been able to reach anyone.

Just talking a little bit on the phone helped me a little bit with my stress and anxiety.

I’m so grateful to be able to do that but I hope he’ll be able to call me back to talk more as I know he’s been busy.

I had a meeting with the general manager who's leaving. He admitted we have too much work.

So I'm going to my manager this week and talking to her. At this stage, to keep up, I'd have to be working outside of office hours. And that isn't happening.

Massive lovely win for today: blood test results back in record time, everything's good, new MH plan and a really nice chilled out chat with the Dr... and he bulk billed me!!!! Ahhh!!! That's like Christmas come early these days given that the gap fee is like 60 (70 after 5pm).

...I hate how American that sounds, having to jump for joy at cheaper healthcare based onto the whim of someone else :(

Have been craving mee goreng something heinous this afternoon so treating myself to a nice spicy bowl on Victoria St. This place is always legit. I am riding the high of Nice Things until I can get my kitchen sorted our very soon...

E: saw my old place listed for sale barely a week after I moved out. Well, I'm glad that they're genuinely selling it and not trying to get new tenants at higher prices. LL better be grateful that I've let her get it on the market so quickly and at a good time of the year...

I've been dancing with my cat and singing 'When you're a Jet' from West Side Story, but swapping it to 'When you're a Cat'. I'm sure he loves it.

aaaaaaa repointing day todaaaaaay

Sort of fucked up yesterday.

Had 'a go' at the ol' man about the way he's trying to tackle his little fence dispute (on top of everything else). Basically long winded combative emails to the neighbour. Problem is the neighbour appears to have literacy issues judging by the way he writes (so they need to be short and to the point).

Anyway so when you have a go, let's just say he's not the sort of person that will take criticism.

So he stood up, calmly said he's going for a walk. That shit never happens it's always far more heated.

On the one hand I shouldn't have done that right now and just let it be, on the other it shows where his head is with respect to mum's issues. It's a completely unrelated issue (a fence and medical stuff) but it definitely says something.

I have no idea how to support someone like him emotionally through this (not the fence but mum heh). He's got a bunch of garden / house shit he's doing which is his 'escape' but I can tell it's really taking its toll.

It's an AC on dehumidify kind of day. Otherwise, my girlfriend starts training for her new job today, I'm excited to see how it goes

bit moist
checks weather
100% humidity

sounds about right

TIL it is possible to fill yourself stupid with too many dumplings.

attempt 2 at purchasing pokemon X did go well unfortunately, but the ebay seller has been awesome to work with! its like I'm destined to not own this game.

TIL about the black screen of death, like the blue screen of death but black

Melbcat is curled into me with her head on my shoulder. Beautiful little baby.

the dogs having their own couch again seems to have stopped the cat bullying them, for now. So thats a win! not bad for a marketplace freebie!

could not get to sleep until late 😣