this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2024
253 points (97.4% liked)

NonCredibleDefense

6592 readers
657 users here now

A community for your defence shitposting needs

Rules

1. Be niceDo not make personal attacks against each other, call for violence against anyone, or intentionally antagonize people in the comment sections.

2. Explain incorrect defense articles and takes

If you want to post a non-credible take, it must be from a "credible" source (news article, politician, or military leader) and must have a comment laying out exactly why it's non-credible. Low-hanging fruit such as random Twitter and YouTube comments belong in the Matrix chat.

3. Content must be relevant

Posts must be about military hardware or international security/defense. This is not the page to fawn over Youtube personalities, simp over political leaders, or discuss other areas of international policy.

4. No racism / hatespeech

No slurs. No advocating for the killing of people or insulting them based on physical, religious, or ideological traits.

5. No politics

We don't care if you're Republican, Democrat, Socialist, Stalinist, Baathist, or some other hot mess. Leave it at the door. This applies to comments as well.

6. No seriousposting

We don't want your uncut war footage, fundraisers, credible news articles, or other such things. The world is already serious enough as it is.

7. No classified material

Classified ‘western’ information is off limits regardless of how "open source" and "easy to find" it is.

8. Source artwork

If you use somebody's art in your post or as your post, the OP must provide a direct link to the art's source in the comment section, or a good reason why this was not possible (such as the artist deleting their account). The source should be a place that the artist themselves uploaded the art. A booru is not a source. A watermark is not a source.

9. No low-effort posts

No egregiously low effort posts. E.g. screenshots, recent reposts, simple reaction & template memes, and images with the punchline in the title. Put these in weekly Matrix chat instead.

10. Don't get us banned

No brigading or harassing other communities. Do not post memes with a "haha people that I hate died… haha" punchline or violating the sh.itjust.works rules (below). This includes content illegal in Canada.

11. No misinformation

NCD exists to make fun of misinformation, not to spread it. Make outlandish claims, but if your take doesn’t show signs of satire or exaggeration it will be removed. Misleading content may result in a ban. Regardless of source, don’t post obvious propaganda or fake news. Double-check facts and don't be an idiot.


Join our Matrix chatroom


Other communities you may be interested in


Banner made by u/Fertility18

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 44 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Philharmonic3@lemmy.world 67 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

The World War Z book did a good job talking about this. Things like zombies not being affected by overpressure from explosions making bombs less effective, and then ultimately the true downfall of the military: bad leaders with no clue what they were doing ordering soldiers to their deaths in stupid ways

[–] SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works 34 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah I remember that part! They brought SAM launchers, radar, jammers and camo netting to a zombie fight.

I really like how they showed the military adapting though. Flying C-130s sparingly to save fuel. Running attack dirgibles, and returning infantry to formation tactics with .22 rifles and bite resistant suits.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 38 points 20 hours ago

LOL, I can see the Pentagon showing up at CCI:

"We need 500 million .22LR rounds."

"Well cert... Uh... 500 million?"

"Here's the purchase order. Good to pick up next Friday?"

Not a fan of the movie, but Brad Pitt taping magazines around his forearms for armor was brilliant. Light, 100% tooth-proof, easy to shed, easy to replace, all that.

[–] moakley@lemmy.world 23 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (1 children)
[–] tee9000@lemmy.world 2 points 17 hours ago

Here, here!

[–] BonerMan@ani.social 13 points 17 hours ago (1 children)
[–] FinalRemix@lemmy.world 7 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Then you just have burning zombies...

[–] BonerMan@ani.social 5 points 17 hours ago

Hell Yeah! 😎

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 48 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

"But those are people running at us, we were totally caught off guard!" says the person trained to mow down maas groups of people.

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 16 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (1 children)

On the one hand, it would be the national guard shooting at the zombies, and not regular military.

On the other hand, I'm from Ohio, and know what the national guard can and will do...

I guess my point is they'd still shoot, they'd just miss a lot?

[–] SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works 4 points 8 hours ago

Center mass shots not working at all would take a lot of un-learning for sure

[–] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 35 points 21 hours ago (6 children)

Conventional infantry tactics don't really work against zombies. For instance, suppressing fire; you can't suppress zombies, because they don't care if they get shot, and it only matters if they get shot in the head. You can't inflict any amount of damage that's going to force a retreat. Artillery and bombs are only going to effect them if they're in the direct blast zone; shrapnel still has to penetrate the brain.

Your best bets are likely going to be napalm and flame throwers. I'm not sure how many napalm bombs the US military has, but I'm pretty sure that they don't have tons of flamethrowers.

[–] Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works 25 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (1 children)

Conventional infantry tactics from 1945 certainly don't work. We haven't fought like that in forever.

Modern infantry tactics would be "Sit inside my nice warm armoured vehicle while the gunner shreds everything with a 25mm autocannon." And I think that would work just fine against zombies.

Also any competent military shouldn't have the slightest difficulty getting headshots on a slow moving target that isn't trying to evade or use cover.

[–] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 15 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

You haven't shot with people that were in the military, have you? :P

[–] Riven@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

Out of curiosity, how do they shoot in your experience? I've never shot but have friends and family in the armed forces who've I've spoken about this to and I don't doubt the military could win against a horde assuming they're regular walking dead zombies and not left 4 dead ones. You don't have to have perfect aim when you can unload at height level into a crowd.

Also, tanks.

[–] randombullet@programming.dev 10 points 11 hours ago

I'm in the US military. The fact that qualifying on an M4 is 23 out of 40 tells you a lot. (Although my unit's average is closer to 30ish)

Additionally, a very little amount of the military is combat arms roughly 15%. The other 85% supports the warfighter. I'm part of the 85%

This is why the US military is so logistically and maintenance heavy because we all support the 15%.

However shrapnel will cause a lot of damage and hopefully take out the brain with enough luck. The brain could still be alive without a body to support it.

Also depends on what kind of zombies we're talking about. If it's a zombie that still relies on oxygenated blood, then conventional tactics will still apply. However if the zombie only needs non-degraded muscles to keep moving, then it'll take a while for tactics to change.

[–] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 9 points 12 hours ago

Most people in the military do a basic qualification that is pretty easy to pass (23/49 targets, at ranges from 25 to 300m); these aren't head shots, these are just on the target. Once you've done that, and graduated from basic, depending on your specialty, you may rarely touch a rifle. Lots of former military people think that they're good, just because they managed a single qualification, and that they know a lot about guns, but it's often just fudd-lore. Spec ops guys and Marines tend to be more proficient overall, because they spend more time practicing. (TBH, a lot of the spec ops are very mediocre as far as competitive shooting goes, but they have a lot of other skills that are relevant to the military, and tend to refuse to give up.) Cops are often even worse; their qualifications are at short distances, with very lenient time standards.

Bear in mind that the kill-to-bullet ratio in Afghanistan was about 1:300,000; most shooting in the modern military is suppressive, rather than directed at a specific target.

Compare that to someone that's a USPSA B class shooter, or someone that regularly shoots PCSL 2 gun matches; they will tend to outshoot a lot of retired military, because they tend to practice, and practice on a shot timer, a lot.

[–] Buelldozer@lemmy.today 24 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

For instance, suppressing fire; you can’t suppress zombies, because they don’t care if they get shot, and it only matters if they get shot in the head.

This makes my teeth itch. I realize that this is NCD but...

Without claiming outright magic damage to muscle and bone still matters. A bipedal creature absolutely requires certain muscles and bones to remain upright. If a zombie gets hit with a rifle round that blows out a 3" chunk of its spine then it can't stand up. That kind of damage is easily done with a 30 caliber rifle round (7.76) let alone the venerable .50 caliber. Even the relatively small .223 / 5.56 that's carried by standard infantry will remove muscle and break bones.

Your average grunt is going to figure out real quick where and how they need to shoot in order to slow or stop these things. If head shots aren't possible and it takes too much ammo for body shots they'll start aiming for the knees and ankles, because again that zombie can't run / shamble at you if it has no feet or it's ankle or knee has been blown into a hundred pieces.

So when Tommy Tactical or Isaac Infantry mag dumps 20 rounds of 5.56 into a zombie it may not be "dead" but it sure as shit has taken critical damage to its musculoskeletal system and will almost certainly not able to stand upright. Ol' Mike the Mighty on the Ma Deuce will reduce a hundred zombies into a quivering pile in 60 seconds or less all by himself.

That zombie horde will be a lot less dangerous and easy to clean up once it's crawling on the ground with all the speed of a toddler.

[–] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 11 points 18 hours ago

Without claiming outright magic [...]

...We're still talking about zombies, right? Animated corpses that have an overwhelming need to consume human flesh, and can only be killed with overwhelming brain damage? I'm pretty sure that's the definition of magic right there. If you're talking about something like the cordyceps fungi--which, to infect humans, would still need some kind of magical power--you still have a very, very finite limit on how long a 'human' will survive (about four weeks without food, give or take), so you should be able to just wait them out, rather than needing to proactively kill them.

That zombie horde will be a lot less dangerous and easy to clean up once it’s crawling on the ground with all the speed of a toddler.

Less dangerous, yes. Not not dangerous, depending on which version of zombies you're talking about specifically.

[–] nuke@sh.itjust.works 5 points 18 hours ago

This makes my teeth itch. I realize that this is NCD but

Be non-credible, not wrong. Good post!

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 15 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Artillery and bombs can shred/destroy the body, making it hard to move, if there is enough body left to move.

A .50 to the arm isn't going to slow a zombie down, but the knee? Kinda hard to walk with one leg. 25mm chain gun is probably going to mist a few bodies.

Artillery is an area denial weapon. If you have a hoard a couple 105 shells are going to take apart rotten flesh with ease. Mortars are similar and more mobile.

Mine fields are effective as a way to immobilise and thin the herd.

Choke points work exceptionally well, and claymores can be rigged at head height.

[–] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 3 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

Kinda hard to walk with one leg

Zombies can and do drag themselves, or even worm their way across fields. Until the brain is destroyed, they're a threat.

25mm chain gun is probably going to mist a few bodies.

Sure, but, again, unless you hit the head, they're still a threat. And meanwhile, you've blown through a thousand rounds of ammo.

Artillery is an area denial weapon.

You can only deny area when people aren't willing to charge into it. Zombies aren't doing massed charges though; each and every zombie is Leroy Jenkins, acting entirely independently, and with zero foresight.

IMO, the most effective method weapon would be a steam roller, as long as all the mechanical parts and the operator cockpit were completely covered so that a zombie couldn't damage anything. Like, say, some of the mine removal vehicles. Moving around is going to attract the zombies, and then running them over would eliminate them.

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 9 points 20 hours ago

Conventional weapons can reduce hoards to manageable amount. And a zombie dragging itself across the ground is much easier to deal with.

If I saw thousands of zombies, a machine gun is what I want. Aim head at the average head height, and make the barrels smoke. It's not suppressing fire, it's crowd management.

Remember you can spike a zombie on the ground easier than when they are standing. Immobilise, THEN neutralise.

[–] Buelldozer@lemmy.today 4 points 19 hours ago

IMO, the most effective method weapon would be a steam roller

The most effective weapon would be a steam roller equipped with a machine gun that fires lightsabers.

[–] sbv@sh.itjust.works 14 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

I'm not sure how many napalm bombs the US military has, but I'm pretty sure that they don't have tons of flamethrowers.

/unjerk so googling around slows that the US military stopped using them in the 1970s. TIL.

/rejerk

Say that three times fast and a SIG sales rep appears behind you.

[–] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 3 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

I thought that they still used them for destroying some munitions? Like, those burn pits in Iraq that caused so many cases of cancer? IDK.

You can quite legally buy them in the US though. They're pricey, but, hey, you never know, right?

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 5 points 20 hours ago

And you're certainly free to fabricate one!*

* Except in California, because California.

[–] PuddleOfKittens@sh.itjust.works 11 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

I think tanks would be their best bet - mounted machine guns and can carry lots of ammo, and if they're surrounded and about to be overrrun then they can just drive away - through the zombies. It's a tank, it has torque up the wazoo.

Actually, no, barbed wire would be their best bet - the blade doesn't have to move if the zombies slice themselves apart on it.

In practice, just use both!

[–] WhatYouNeed@lemmy.world 3 points 11 hours ago

A tank that chews through 5 gallons per mile? Who's going to be sitting in the tanker truck to do refils?

[–] OwlPaste@lemmy.world 14 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Ukrainian thermite drones would like to have a word

[–] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 4 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

You'd still need to hit each zombie individually though.

[–] OwlPaste@lemmy.world 3 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Not with thermite, it spreads flammable liquid everywhere. Look for "dragon" drone videos if you want. Zombies are unlikely to try to to jump over the burning fluid and if anything probably will spread it further and on themselves so eventually will burn. It's probably one of thepre effective remote ways to deal with them in modern warfare. Especially since drones are bloody loud so zombies are more likely to chase the drones instead of operators who can be entirely hidden.

[–] RobertoOberto@sh.itjust.works 4 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Imma get real pedantic here - "thermite" is just a composition, like C4, TNT, or PETN. Those drones show just one of many specific delivery methods, spraying or dropping pre-ignited thermite as they moves To say that "[thermite] sprays flammable liquid everywhere" isn't correct, but burning thermite can be spread like those drones do.

[–] OwlPaste@lemmy.world 2 points 12 hours ago

Ah thank you for the clarification, I assumed it would be more flamethrower based based on the videos I seen, but never looked at it.

[–] nentypaushessen@feddit.org 12 points 18 hours ago (5 children)

Wouldn't that be an occasion where tactical nukes would become really handy? I would guess the classical zombie hord would be a real nice target...

[–] omega_x3@lemmy.world 9 points 11 hours ago

Do you want to deal with glowing ones? Cause that is how you get glowing ones.

[–] wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 12 hours ago

Congrats, now you have irradiated zombies. And any not truly destroyed by the explosion would effectively just get knocked down by the shockwave and get right back on up.

[–] SomethingBurger@jlai.lu 5 points 14 hours ago

Resident Evil and The Last of Us have nukes in the story. It didn't help at all.

[–] TriflingToad@lemmy.world 7 points 16 hours ago

how would that help? If it's far enough away to nuke them without nuking yourself, the zombies would probably be too far away to bother you.

[–] TheEEEdiot@sh.itjust.works 4 points 16 hours ago

That's how "Return of the Living Dead" ended. Spoiler: it didn't work out well.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 11 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

A modern military is a movie killer in many situations.

Kaiju? Don't make me laugh.

"Flood torpedo tubes 1 and 3."

And zombies in America?! LOL, all my neighbors have a gun or two. Black, white, young, old, liberal, conservative, all of them. We could probably field something with a scope on every rooftop.

[–] Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works 5 points 18 hours ago

Both of the recent Japanese Godzilla movies (Shin Godzilla and Godzilla Minus One) actually do an excellent job of neutralizing the military factor.

[–] DarkCloud@lemmy.world 9 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

They didn't shoot survivors - they shot zombies to be. It was pre-emptive.

[–] surph_ninja@lemmy.world 0 points 12 hours ago

That part actually sounds realistic. There were reports that cops killed a huge percentage of the innocents from the Pulse nightclub shooting, after they started pouring out from a breached wall, but they refused to investigate.