this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2024
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I told a guy today "you look so fashionable!" because he did, good looking guy literally young enough to be my kid, in a great outfit that looked intentional, and got back a "thank you!" Because he knew I was not chatting him up, just legitimately complimenting him. I could always do this with women, but not men.

Just happy, I am happy about it.

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[–] UraniumBlazer@lemm.ee 29 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Awww thank you for doing that!!! I'm sure u made his day better! We guys receive very less compliments as it is.

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

This is a big part of why. If a woman compliments a man, the odds that he'll take it as being hit on are very high. And if they then "reciprocate" and you aren't into him, he may or may not respond rationally.

Usually better not to risk it unless you know the guy and that he won't take it the wrong way.

[–] moonlight@fedia.io 5 points 3 weeks ago

It's a chicken and egg thing, I think. It's interpreted that way because it's so rare.

[–] SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Good on ya'. Compliment other men. Build up your brothers!

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 16 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I could be wrong, but I don't think this is an "other men" situation.

[–] SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz 9 points 3 weeks ago

Either way, build each other up!

[–] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee 3 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Women get this kind of attention and compliments constantly but I bet most of them don't realize just how rare it is for even the most handsome men. I remember Chris Williamson, podcasted, previously a male model and professional stud saying that he can pretty much count with one hand the times he has been approached by woman.

I've had a woman send me a blow kiss from a passing vehicle once. I bet she didn't think anything of it when as I'll remember it forever.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 4 points 3 weeks ago

You say "this kind of attention" but go on to talk about being blown a kiss, which is veri different from what OP described.

I started dressing better and wearing bright.cors and I get compliments on my outfits now.

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I know! I am free with compliments for my friends, gay men, random women. To be fair, I also don't see a lot of guys intentionally dressed like this man was - he had obviously thought out the outfit and it looked cool. I'd noticed it in the morning, but saw him on my way out and thought it ok to tell him I did notice it.

I just don't feel like I'd have been so open when younger because it's harder to make it obvious I am not hitting on him. Even though it's a safe for work compliment!

Do guys tell other guys they like their hair or clothes, though? Like, do you compliment each other on the superficial stuff?

[–] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee 3 points 3 weeks ago

Like, do you compliment each other on the superficial stuff?

We go to the gym expecting to get compliments from women but the only ones we end up getting are from other gymbros.

Ironically, my GF just asked some young fellow about his perfume and when she came home she told me about how worried she was about being labeled a creep because of it.