this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] bamfic@lemmy.world 140 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

Classmate in 7th grade while warming up for gym class stretched easily that way. One kid made the offhand comment "Hey, you can suck your own dick!" and flexible kid immediately yelled "SHUT UP!". Which told us all he'd done it.

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 53 points 2 months ago (2 children)

For the curious, I did know someone who said they could do it. We didn't have long conversations about it or anything but he said all you need to know.

"It's more like sucking dick than getting your dick sucked."

[–] VeganCheesecake@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Sounds like a win win. Maybe I should work on getting more flexible.

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Hey, aim for the moon, if you miss you still hit the stars! Or something.

Just please, please take it slow and stretch a LOT and don't force it, you can seriously maim your back if you force it. There's probably some yoga exercises you can look up online.

[–] bamfic@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Makes perfect sense! Like doing 69. Mouth grabs attention over genitals.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

If I could suck my own dick, I wouldn't ever leave the house.

[–] And009@reddthat.com 3 points 2 months ago

Pairs well with a choking fetish

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 13 points 2 months ago

I'm not jealous. You are!

[–] nieceandtows@lemmy.world 83 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Anon messed up not removing a couple of ribs beforehand

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 26 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

He removed the ribs so he could eat them.

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I mean, it's all relative to the size of your steeple

[–] joelfromaus@aussie.zone 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

So you’re saying I’d need to remove 4-5 ribs?

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 6 points 2 months ago

You sound like you can't smell your own shit on your knees

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago (14 children)

I can't believe this old hoax is still being circulated. This goes back pre-internet as one of the first viral memes.

[–] mysteryname101@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Shhh. It reveals our age.

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[–] bamfic@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago
[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 30 points 2 months ago (7 children)

Is that something other men want to do? Even my dog had no interest in it and he was easily flexible enough.

[–] basmati@lemmus.org 112 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You shouldn't get your dog to suck your dick, no matter how flexible the dog is.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 months ago

Yeah, they can't make a vacuum due to their mouth shape, so it's just going to be sloppy with a large risk of puncture. Totally not worth it.

[–] Hydra_Fk@reddthat.com 25 points 2 months ago (2 children)

They say it's more like sucking a dick vs getting a bj apparently.

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 14 points 2 months ago

Sounds like a win-win in my book.

[–] Speculater@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 2 months ago

Yes. I know peeps and it’s apparently awesome.

[–] rovingnothing29@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

I mean I heard a kid broke his neck trying back in the late 90s

[–] assassinatedbyCIA@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Did you remove your dog’s balls though? That might have an effect.

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago

I wasn't the one who did it, and it didn't keep him from licking other dogs...

[–] TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'd imagine that gay men, if any, might be interested. But no I think most guys don't want to taste their own dick.

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I wonder if that's actually the case. I imagine that if I had the body of a (hot) woman then I would be turned on by my own body. However, I haven't heard of gay people getting off while looking in the mirror...

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 4 points 2 months ago

Let me present you gym bros. I also recall someone back in high school who said he masturbated looking at his own ass in the mirror.

Gay trans woman here. Queer people absolutely can get turned on by our own naked bodies. I have first hand experience.

[–] schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 2 months ago

I have tried before whether I could do it, the answer was no, and I don't feel I am missing out on anything.

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 24 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Suckin that dick at an egregerious angle

[–] SynopsisTantilize@lemm.ee 7 points 2 months ago

I cackled laughed in a Walmart just now. Can't explain that one lol

[–] Sendpicsofsandwiches@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] IGuessThisIsForNSFW@yiffit.net 3 points 2 months ago

This shit ain't nothing to me man

[–] EnderMB@lemmy.world 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Pfft, sucking your own dick is amateur. Real men toss their own salad.

[–] Confused_Emus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 months ago

Sounds like a qualification for Cirque du Soleil.

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 13 points 2 months ago

Back, not neck.

... I'm told.

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 6 points 2 months ago

Wanna be hip? Gotta suck your own dick.

[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Dude probably thought he was a h0rs3 character.

[–] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago
[–] Num10ck@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] mayo@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I've had a couple tenga's but I feel like these are meant to be disposable. Never a flip though, kind of pricey.

[–] Num10ck@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

some people treat all sexual objects as disposable. protect your heart.

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