this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2024
575 points (96.4% liked)

Greentext

4616 readers
1270 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 191 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"Dude who's in denial about being bisexual has hobosexual relationship with another man, is shocked that they developed feelings"

Yeah that 100% checks out actually

[–] JohnWorks@sh.itjust.works 124 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

depressingly common, was even more common before we let women have rights

[–] absentbird@lemm.ee 30 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

'we let' women have rights? Women fought tooth and nail for years to get those rights, and assholes are still trying to claw them away; fuck, there's places in the US right now where women are dying because their access to healthcare has been sabotaged by a supreme court that reinterpreted the constitution to remove their rights.

[–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 23 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

"we" in this case could be the American government in general and the supreme court specifically. The fact that such an important right was "granted" by a decision of nine random schmucks and can be taken away by another decision (rather than being a law) is not a great look for that government.

But you're right that it was not the best phrasing. Activism is extremely important esp on more local levels

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] bilb@lem.monster 171 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Straight but being bi unlocks additional dialog options

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] baduhai@sopuli.xyz 160 points 2 months ago (2 children)

straight but bi when it benefits me

Brother, you're bi.

[–] turtlepower@lemm.ee 63 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Could be bisexual, heteroromantic, but doesn't know that's a thing.

[–] Infynis@midwest.social 17 points 2 months ago

That's exactly what it looks like

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Nojustice@lemmy.ml 90 points 2 months ago (5 children)

I can't believe no one else said this but I feel it's necessary...

Fake and gay

[–] TJDetweiler@lemmy.ca 74 points 2 months ago

Queer and insincere, even.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] nutsack@lemmy.world 61 points 2 months ago (1 children)

being a fuck toy for free rent. holy fucking based

[–] Peruvian_Skies@sh.itjust.works 75 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I've heard it called being "homelessexual"

[–] booly@sh.itjust.works 40 points 2 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 58 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What the fuck did I just read.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 50 points 2 months ago (2 children)

"You telling me the man who try to put a rubber fist in my anus was a homosexual?"

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] VelvetStorm@lemmy.world 50 points 2 months ago (17 children)

Can't tell if oop is transman or transwoman or cis guy on hrt. No matter which one they are still bi and should just learn to accept it.

load more comments (17 replies)

What no pussy does to a mf

[–] Shard@lemmy.world 45 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Fake and Gay

Gay, Anon is gay

Fake, Anon claims to be straight

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Soup@lemmy.cafe 42 points 2 months ago (2 children)

TIL people still believe 4chan bullshit is real.

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago

It might not always be a window into how other people live, but it is always a window into what other people think about.

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Every greentext is based in some reality

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 39 points 2 months ago (2 children)

What in the 4chan bullshit is this?

[–] Dogiedog64@lemmy.world 44 points 2 months ago (8 children)

Anon is a closeted bi and open femboy, and just doesn't want to admit he likes it. Meanwhile, he's totally fine being someone's FB for free rent, but also feels guilty that he is kinda messing with his other friends in the meantime.

Basically, Anon is a moron.

[–] CleoTheWizard@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Sounds more to me like anon isn’t romantically attracted to men but is sexually. Which is very confusing if you don’t have words for it but that simple language/label would solve anons problems

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (7 replies)
[–] Soup@lemmy.cafe 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It’s exactly that. 4chan bullshit.

[–] Comment105@lemm.ee 15 points 2 months ago

> writes gay fanfic with really weird twists
> wtf, gay shit is fucking weird

[–] itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 38 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Is self-identified cis people getting HRT a thing? I'm genuinely curious, I assume it's all DIY, right? In any case, that was a wild ride

[–] psivchaz@reddthat.com 37 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yeah a cis dude might get testosterone if his normal testosterone is low. I assume there's something similar for women. I don't think that's what this guy is talking about though.

[–] EldritchFeminity@lemmy.blahaj.zone 32 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's fairly common for women to start taking estrogen post menopause because their estrogen levels drop, and that can cause issues like losing bone density. I believe HRT was originally developed specifically for that reason, and it was only later that they tried using it to treat gender dysphoria.

But in this case, they specifically call out being a femboy on HRT, which I think pretty clearly says that they're on estrogen for that female figure. Whether it's DIY or just informed consent is anyone's guess, though.

[–] loaExMachina@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (7 children)

That's one possibility I thought off, but there's another one: He says he's straight, but doesn't mention being cis, so he could be a trans man taking testosterone (HRT isn't necessarily estrogens).

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 19 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

wonder how some of the greedier telehealth hrt providers (not naming names but it's all on Google) would react if someone straight up said "I'm cis but want to be more attractive to a certain demographic, gimme the femboy pills". I'd give 70/30 they'd eventually agree.

p.s. personally I think hrt should be maximally cheap and sold over the counter.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

That’s something informed consent should permit. “Here are the effects, do you want them?”

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 35 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (18 children)

Had this friend who swears he was straight. But. He loved dicks, coz they're "so aethetical" and despised vajayjays coz "they're disgusting axe-wounds". When i dared saying he sounds more gay than straight he was furiously pissed and in the end quit the friendship coz I'm just "straightphobe" and seeing gays everywhere.

I didn't really know - being a logical being - how to react to all of this. He was dead serious. Even offered to suck me off and got pissed that i declined due to not being bi nor gay.

load more comments (18 replies)
[–] kandoh@reddthat.com 30 points 2 months ago

I've known a lot of gay and asexual women that end up in this exact scenario

[–] MBM@lemmings.world 26 points 2 months ago (5 children)

straight men don't cum when getting fucked in the ass by a man

???

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 28 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Straight men have prostates too. If the other guy has great technique, who knows what could happen!

In other news, greentexts are sometimes a bit of a wild ride, and I maintain that the best ones always are.

Humanity. We're a diverse bunch. We really really are.

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] ikidd@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I'm so confused. I think I'm just going to go soak in the tub and stare at my toes.

[–] match@pawb.social 17 points 2 months ago (3 children)

op is pretty fucking based ngl

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Asidonhopo@lemmy.world 16 points 2 months ago

Greece was 3000 years early to OPs game

[–] fushuan@lemm.ee 13 points 2 months ago (7 children)

When they say femboy they mean that they are a trans man that doesn't present itself as manly enough or a trans female that hasn't transitioned that much yet?

In one of those cases being into dudes would be being straight.

[–] Peruvian_Skies@sh.itjust.works 33 points 2 months ago (11 children)

No, a femboy is a feminine boy. They usually crossdress or at least dress androginously. They don't necessarily want to transition or take HRT (although this one does).

load more comments (11 replies)
load more comments (6 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›