And you can eat your favorite chaff at the same time!
this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2024
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It needs a port that you can attach your bag of caffeinated noodles to.
You can make the most vile, cynical, brainrotting product if you advertise it to Gamers™.
We Gamers™ are on the cutting edge of humanity.
In 10 yearls you'll be slopping down on PowerNoods™, not even knowing how silly you looked here, smh.
You won't even need to heat the noodles up; they're ready to eat right from the pouch.
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My Teammates:
"Wtf is that sound?!"
"Kolanaki put oats in his gamer muzzle again..."
Me: munches on oats
🐴?
A horse is a 🐴, of course. Unless it was Mr. Ed.
A horse is a horse, of course, of course, And no one can talk to a horse, of course, That is, of course, unless the horse Is the famous Mister Ed!
Go right to the source and ask the horse, He'll give you the answer that you'll endorse. He's always on a steady course. Talk to Mister Ed!
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who needs asmr when you can call kolanaki
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for valorant players
conservative Americans be like
Im not gonna fuckin lie, I looked into buying one of these FOR WEEKS cus of my college dorm.
250 something dollars. Im good.
That is way too expensive for a product like this, that also might not work for its intended use (if their nose isn't fully covered like in the picture, I'd expect the screaming to leak out quite a bit. Might've worked for my idea of using it for call privacy (speaking softly) but still that's way too much for something that'll probably only be useful for that niche use-case.
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Looks sweaty in there. I cant imagine the smell after a few weeks
This mask smells like poor oral hygiene
Yummy!
It's precoated in BO so you can be ready for any competition environment
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Is there... Is there a matching blindfold? Asking for a friend.
It also comes with a gamer buttplug and cat ears.
Wow - grandmaster accessories already!
For haptic feedback and headset weight distribution, of course
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In case you were worried they have an accessory that will channel your farts directly to the face mask. Metadox knows what gamers want.
Or buy one of their celebrity sponsored "Gamer Farts" Its like Pokimane and Travis Scott are really there filling your room with farts!
Just buy a gag, it makes saying a slur more difficult, saving yourself from bans
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Your chance to sound like Kenny to everyone around you.
I mean it could be useful in dorms and shared room situations.
that would actually be usefull for me damn. I make inhuman noises when gaming with friends
I guess I'm fucking strange because I tend to game in complete silence.
I don't speak on Voice chat though, mainly because many gamers online are racist (and sexist) pigs. Back in the day I did used to use TeamSpeak to talk to others in games and they both be racist toward me, and make fun of my voice saying I sound like a girl.
So, text only from now on, if reading is too hard especially with spelling mstakes if I'm doing it quickly in game, fuck them.
I do think this could have some use for me though, particularly with private calls which I'd prefer other people to not hear the other side of, though it's still very hard to justify it since it just looks way too silly.
It took me years to find gaming buddies who aren't racist shitbags and we still have to punt the occasional edgelord who decides to get up in someone's face with that shit. Not a single one of my remaining discord communities is gaming focused, those all ended up being Superfund levels of toxic. Hobby and tech communities though? Plenty of good friends there that I play games with occasionally.
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Mmm, now we can get the full meatiness of choke-burping and mucus snorting! Downright sensual!
I just wish someone put serious effort into a microphone that worked with a mask so people wearing masks were easier to understand.
There are a lot of people who speak at conferences who still wear masks. I get it, even if you weren't worried about COVID, in the pre-COVID times a lot of people were out for a week after going to a conference / convention because of all the germs being passed around.
But, even with professional speakers and professional microphones, the audio just sounds muddy when the speaker is wearing a mask.
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Okay jokes aside this is actually kind of a great idea
Combine it with the semi-adjustable GAMER wrist-proximity-fixation devices (also available in plush) as well as the the GAMER lumination-induced eye strain block face-covering mask device for best results.
The Gamuzzle
imagine not censoring the company’s name, they paid Facebook for the ad, they didn’t pay you
What will they think of next?
Complete the set! Further protect your loved ones and property from emotional competitive reactions and other unpredictable gamer movements:
Ah, the gamer muzzle
I just might buy this for my neighbor.
Why not using a throat mic? They are cheaper.
gamers reinvent the stenomask
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