Ask Lemmy

My two cents: don't look at anything inside that car at all. Listen to the engine to know when to shift, go a speed that feels comfortable and is a bit slower than other cars. Forgive yourself when the engine stalls or you drive in the 'wrong' gear for a bit. If you got behind the wheel and didn't hit anything, you're won driving.

To make driving more appealing, I suggest living in an unwalkable American Midwest purgatory where there's fuck-all to do but watch tractors circle fields or meth

You will begin to associate the positive emotions of escape and freedom with driving, which will make you enjoy it a lot more

Your mileage may vary, but it worked great for me

No, it's not awful all the time. Cruising down a highway or familiar streets can be kind of zen. I say this as someone who despises car-culture and believes most transit should be mass, public, transit options like buses and trains. But I have fond memories of cruising down the highway at night by myself singing along with my favorite music.

I live somewhere that's walkable and has a subway system now, and it's much better. Don't have to worry about parking, insurance, fuel, drinking too much. So if you really hate driving, you could look into living somewhere that doesn't require it.

And I hate automatic. After a few weeks or months, you won't even realize there's a clutch or shift. It's actually easier, as with automatics I have to actually look at it to determine which gear I am in, eg. reverse or drive.

A good way to learn the friction point of a clutch is to find some flat ground (somewhere you can practice and not worry about traffic or pedestrians) and come to a complete stop.

Put the car into first gear and without touching the accelerator or brake, very, very slowly bring the clutch pedal up. You'll feel the engine begin to bog down the further the pedal comes off the floor. Push the clutch back down and repeat until you feel comfortable with where the clutch is "catching".

Once you can reliably find this spot in the clutch pedal's travel, begin adding in some throttle to help you take off a little quicker.

I've taught others to drive manual and this is a good way to build the muscle memory that helps when driving on the road so you don't have to think about it.

Maybe that helps but either way good luck on your journey!

You’re right. You should give up driving.

I don't hear anyone hating on manual cars where I live. They may prefer and pay extra to buy an automatic but they don't hate on manual.

Anyway it's all about practice, manual or not.

Like anything else, the more you practice, the better you get. I remember how much anxiety and stress I had when I was learning; now I don’t even think about it.

Could you get a friend or relative to take you out to a quiet area to get more practice away from traffic and other road users? Then slowly build up to more stressful situations. I was taking my kids a few times a week around the quieter back streets, round and round and round, until they got their confidence up, then we went out to small roads with traffic, and built up until they were driving on busy main roads and freeways.

Here in Australia, you can choose to get an automatic-only license and not have to learn manual. Is that an option where you are?

Driving manual takes BOTH Theory and Practice.

1. Replay potential scenarios in your head and try to predict how you will react.

2. Re-examine your realtime reactions on the road.

3. Learn both rules of the road and real-life motorists reactions to rules.

4. Safety - Safety - Safety. If it feels unsafe, get off the road safely and wait it out.

Manual driving tips.

Use the emergency-parking-hand-brake for hill-assists.

Practice dual-brake-accelerator press/release.

Practice clutch-release-hold with no brake-accelerator ( fully depressed clutch, quarter-release, half-release, no-clutch .... does the vehicle jump forward, at what point does it start creeping forward, what noise is the engine making, how does the gear-stick/shaft feel smooth or vibrating or extremely-stuck, etc etc )

Practice a reliable gear-stick-shift-shaft action. Turn your wrist outward and push horizontal, and up for 1st-gear. Neutral with a downward wrist and wiggle along the central neutral line. Turn wrist upward and firmly push straight forward for 3rd-gear, and tap gear-knob down and wiggle along central neutral line to confirm gear-stick is in the neutral, etc etc.

So by judging how traffic behaves and by establishing clear personal good gear/manual habits, you can improve your reactions.

Look forward of the vehicle for less than 10 meters ( 30 feet ) and drive below 60 kmph ( 40 mph ) if you can't smoothly handle the manual transmission. Increase by 5 feet look distance as you get more comfortable over several months.

Don't drive in traffic, park if you feel unsafe without causing problems.

Avoid steep shopping mall parking lots and narrow spaces until you are comfortable handling the manual vehicle.

Add wing mirrors and antenna at the edges of the vehicle corners to help visually identify the area around the vehicle.

Best of Luck and Have Fun once you are good at it. If after 2 years you aren't getting any results, then manual may not be the best choice for you and you may need to give it up. Automatic transmissions are now making amazing progress and reliability.

No shame driving automatic transmission vehicles.

I bus to work, it takes only five minutes more than me driving, and is only five dollars a day, and I get to read or listen to podcasts or whatever and not think about traffic or bad drivers. The only downside is obnoxious passengers on occasion and people who smell bad. I don't love driving at all.

I was very daunted by driving when I started, especially when I had to drive a really old clunky low-power diesel Mercedes with my overly critical dad and big brother yelling at me.

Didn't take long for it to become second nature, and I actually drove taxis for several years.

It literally just takes a while for your brain to get accustomed to everything. Yes, youre right in that a manual can be a distraction from learning traffic, but it really doesn't take long for the shifting to become very natural, and then you can pay attention to the traffic.

As for actual tips on the clutch, it's not really as much a matter of millimeters, as it is about the balance between throttle and clutch. Don't be afraid to give it a bit more gas to makeita sure you won't stop the car even if you let go of the clutch slower. Yes it will sound a bit like a student driver, revving the car "needlessly", but you are a student driver and it isn't needless revving, because you're still learning the feel for the clutch.

It also depend a lot on the make and model of the car the school has. It's a bit of a personal preference, but clutches are really different in different cars. You might really like a 90's Mercedes with a reeaally long clutch, but that too takes getting a bit used to. I remember the cars my car school had were fairly new Ford's, and they had really short clutches. Annoyed me as well.

Honestly took me less than a year of driving and I knew how to shift without a clutch. Some really old 70's sand lorries my dad used to drive didn't have clutches, so he taught me how to (in some cars it works some don't really like it, but basically you could do it in all manual cars, without damaging the gearbox if you do it properly); when accelerating, just as you let go of the throttle, like 0.5sec after that there's a short period where you can just pull the gear to neutral without any resistance. That's easy. Shifting into gear from neutral without clutch isn't as easy, but in some cars, not much of a challenge. You need to rev the engine to match the rpm, but like with a short press of the gas pedal, which revs the rpm higher than it needs to, then when the rpm is coming down there's a window where you can shift into gear really easily.

I ramble, you don't need to thin about that.

I would suggest, if possible (idk if you have a learners permit or smth and can drive under parent supervision), to practice driving on highways and country roads for less traffic to learn the car better. If not, maybe ask your teacher on the next lesson if you could do that.

And if not, if you have to drive in the city, the most important is just to remember that the panic and rudeness you feel isn't something which should make you hurry. People will be annoyed, but you have a right to annoy them, as you're learning. It's a shit thing, being a learning driver, but once you get your licence and get to take the car on a long drive yourself on some chill roads, you might actually enjoy the driving because the stress won't be there. And then learning will become easier as well, when your heart isn't beating through your chest with someone watching over you.

Just keep at it. You know what to do. Now it's just a bit of repetition.

Edit oh and ask anything if you like, 3rd gen taxi driver, drove since 2007 (not driving currently). No stupid questions exist. So anything at all, go ahead.

It gets better as you gain experience and it becomes like a part of you. In the same way you don think about extending the arm, opening and closing the hand when picking an object, when shifting a gear is the same, you don’t perform all the steps or movements like independent tasks that need all your attention, it just becomes “shift up/down”.

In my first practice lesson I panicked with the all things to take care off, and I didn’t move more than five meters in a speed that the needle detected.

The clutch is not something that goes by precision, is about feelings, with the noise from the motor, the clutch pedal vibrations, the response from the vehicle… I is telling you what to do, in the end is feelings and muscle memory.

Take your time to practice and relax.

I remember that feeling. It goes by with experience. I love driving and I'd never buy an automatic as long as there's a manual alternative.

Hard to say without knowing details. How's the traffic in your area, is it a big city or more rural? What country?

I do think it's a bit crazy that people learn to drive manual cars on the road. It is a lot to manage when you have no experience. Learners should be given a few hours to just mess around on an airfield or car park so they can get a feel for the machine first of all.

IMO most driving sucks anus though, after a year or two and the novelty has worn off. Stressful, expensive, dangerous. I would rather take trains, get stuff delivered and have a day every year or so with a powerful car alone on a racetrack.

I really hated learning how to drive, because I'm good at learning things in a knowledge type way, but that was little help with learning how to drive. I'm not very good at being not very good at things, which sounds like a humble brag, but it actually means I get frustrated and find it hard to stick with things I don't immediately click with.

It took me a decent while before driving began to feel more natural, but it did get easier; one of the changes I noticed as I improved was I gradually came to treat the mirrors as an extension of my visual perception rather than things I needed to remind myself to check (this also meant I preferred reversing for tight manoeuvres, because the mirrors meant I could better gauge my "vehicular proprioception", so to speak (how close I was to other stuff))

None of this will make your quest any easier, because the process does take time and it sucks for the majority of that. However, I hope you take some comfort in knowing that this certainly isn't a you-problem.

It will get much better over time but it always kind of sucks. I highly recommend reorganizing your life to avoid driving as much as possible if you can. The less you do it, the happier you’ll be.

I hate driving, it's stressful to be operating heavy machinery with the capacity to kill. That said, driving a manual car is much worse, just adds a lot of stress on top

It took me a year worth of lessons every week and constant practice, and I passed. I'm a pretty decent driver now. Manual is better because it doesn't change gear when I don't ask it to. Here you can pass a driving test with an automatic, but if you do, you're not licenced to drive a manual

You get used to driving, and automatic is probably easier to learn with but afterwards it's not an issue.

I hated learning how to drive, and only really started to tolerate it once I got a new driving teacher. I actually like driving now, mostly because it's one of the few times where I can turn my brain off while not being unfocused.

With that said...I have no idea why Americans (not assuming OP is American, but know it's rare over there) have such an issue with manual cars. My family has both manual and automatic, and I prefer manual because it's much easier to have control. It has never, ever been a distraction for me.

my parents only had manuals and I ended up taking the test a few years later with my friends automatic because they wanted to do a road trip and wanted me to take driving shifts.

Honestly, I was happy my parents were being cheap and bought me a manual for my first car. It made driving automatics later on so easy and they were right at least a few times. They told me there would be times where I may be stuck if I didn't know how to drive a manual. I ended up driving a few friends home in their manual at a time there were no taxis or ridesharing in our area.

Like everyone said it becomes second nature, even if you're learning automatic... You just have to manage your anxiety. The 3 people through out my life who I know absolutely should not be on the road took multiple physical driving tests on an automatic but are so anxious on the road, they were a danger to others. I'm hoping your description above is just because you're a new driver, experiencing new driver things. I was that scared and not very good either when I started and also was uncertain of myself. I'm happy I stuck with it and it does become second nature if your anxiety is within normal limits. Best wishes on your driving adventures