They deserve it. It seems like so many transphobes only want to recognize the existence of detransitioners to use them as a transphobic tool to support their close-minded worldview.

It honestly must be very scary for pro-trans detransitioners to speak on their experiences. They'll get right-wing asshats pulling a "told you so" on them and also those same righties attempting to use them to push an agenda.

Not only that, but we need to support them. Going through detransition, even not considering the social issues that one might have in doing that, is a really tough thing, and I think we should acknowledge it.

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[–] davehtaylor@beehaw.org 62 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Everyone should be completely free to explore their gender and sexuality as they see fit. Questioning one's situation should be seen as good. And if in the end of that questioning the answer is "I'm cis" or "I'm straight" then that's totally fine too. And shouldn't be seen as a problem. It doesn't mean queer identities are invalid.

There's also the fact that many detransitioners do so because of social for familial pressure, not because they aren't actually trans. If you come out as trans, and your entire family and friend group decided to shun you, or your work isn't supportive, etc., and you face massive amounts of hate and ostracism, you might decide that going back into the closet is the way to go so you don't have to deal with that.

It's all a nightmare of a situation that shouldn't have to exist

[–] Nyla_Smokeyface@beehaw.org 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I also heard that some people detransition after finding out they are nonbinary. One of my high school teachers has a friend who is a trans woman who stopped taking hormones because it changed her body more than she was comfortable with. I wouldn't be surprised if there are detransitioners who detransition because they realize that medical transitioning wasn't right for them.

[–] zkikiz@lemmy.ml 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And that's not really "de" it's just stopping where you're comfortable at. Which is exactly what everyone should be doing anyway. "De" implies feeling like you completely made a mistake and want to undo what was done, simply stopping hormones doesn't necessarily accomplish that and non-binary is a totally valid identity

[–] Nyla_Smokeyface@beehaw.org 6 points 1 year ago

Yeah I realized that as I was typing this haha. Touche. My teacher didn't use the word detransition for the record. I just wasn't sure if the friend would count as a "detransitioner"

[–] Nyla_Smokeyface@beehaw.org 45 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It makes me so sad that so many detransitioners are being used as "proof" that trans people aren't valid or that it's an agenda

[–] AngelJamie@lemmy.ml 23 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

It really strikes me as odd that some people think "transition wasn't right for me, so therefore, it's right for nobody!" is a valid argument.

I'd go as far to say that I find it so hard to believe that this argument is upheld in good faith to a point where I think most people who assert it know it makes no sense but feel the need to grasp at any straws they can to be transphobic.

It's almost as if something called a "case-by-case basis" exists, but these people refuse to acknowledge it.

I even brought up the amount of satisfied post-transition trans people with my grandfather who has an obsession with sending me articles by transphobic detransitioners (so he can use the whole "take it from someone who actually did it: transition is wrong!" argument), to which he responds:

Any trans person who says their satisfied with their lives post-transition is "lying" to not get targeted by the "liberal media".

What gets me the most about people like my grandparents is that he simultaneously believes that transphobes like him are a silent majority to a point where he argues that everyone "secretly" agrees with his views on trans people, but he also wants to showcase a victim complex saying that people with his views are massively shunned by society when he expresses said views.

Make it make sense.

[–] chuso@kbin.social 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

If you look at the data, the main reason why people detransition is not because "transition wasn’t right" for them.

Turban et al. found in 2021 that among the people who have detransitioned, the vast majority of them (82.5 %) cited external factors for detransitioning such as pressure from parents (35.6 %), other family members (25.9 %), partners (20.2 %) or friends (14.2 %), societal stigma (32.5 %), difficulty to get a job as a trans person (26.9 %) or pressure from employers (17.5 %) as opposed to 15.9 % citing internal factors with only 1 % citing not being able to identify with the gender they had transitioned to, 2.4 % having doubts about their gender and 10.5 % citing having fluctuations about their gender.

And I would even say that only that 1 % could fit in that definition of people who detransitioned because "transition wasn't right for them", as having doubts or fluctuations about their gender can mean something else (like transitioning to something else like non-binary or gender-fluid).

So the vast majority of people who have detransitioned did it because of how hard it was made by transphobes to live their lives as trans people, not because the transition wasn't right for them.
It's kind of a self-fulfilled prophecy where transphobes make trans people's lives so hard that some of them are not able to bear with it anymore so they have to detransition and then transphobes say "see, they had to detransition because they regret having transitioned, hence transitioning is wrong".

It's the same kind of self-fulfilled prophecy as those LGBT+-phobic people who say they wouldn't want to have LGBT+ kids because they would be less happy, but the only ones trying to make LGBT+ people's lives miserable are those phobes themselves.

[–] cobra89@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago

Simple. The people making those types of arguments aren't doing so in good faith. All they're trying to do is twist any "evidence" to support their unsupportable opinion.

[–] prole@beehaw.org 14 points 1 year ago

Yeah, it's like it was with the abortion debate too. These people don't care about de-tranisitioners. They use them as political pawns, and it's gross.

[–] PotentiallyAnApricot@beehaw.org 10 points 1 year ago

Agreed. I have not seen this discussed very much.

[–] cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 year ago

The anti trans detransitioners are just repackaging anti choice arguments.

[–] HolyDuckTurtle@kbin.social 8 points 1 year ago

Absolutely. Personal identity is a journey and you never know if you're at your final destination.

It's so sad how it's used as a tool by transphobes. Arguably worse, is that creates an environment where people are scared to acknowledge it in fear of being invalidated.

The best thing we can do is continue to build positivity and support for people, wherever their journey takes them.