this post was submitted on 27 Aug 2024
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xkcd

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The secret fourth kind is 'we applied a standard theory to their map of every tree and got some suspicious results.'

https://explainxkcd.com/2977/

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[–] Hamartiogonic@sopuli.xyz 62 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Then there’s also the flat-earther style: “We applied a flawed model and flawed methodology to standard circumstances and got the results we wanted!”

I guess we need a new comic to address all the different kinds of pseudo-science.

[–] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 25 points 3 weeks ago

That's easy! We call that Garbage In Garbage Out!

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 54 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

What about 'we applied a standard theory to standard circumstances and somehow the results aren't right and it's probably our fault'

[–] Hamartiogonic@sopuli.xyz 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Business as usual, just another day at the lab. People using actual real world samples instead of the expensive standards to produce a very messy calibration squiggle. Also, the machine probably requires some maintenance from time to time.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Should just assume a perfectly spherical cow in a vacuum for simplicity's sake 🤷

[–] palordrolap@fedia.io 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Oddly enough, the lack of air pressure in a vacuum would have the effect of trying to turn a regular cow into a sphere.

(Do not do this. Not even if the cow is already dead. Thanks.)

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

Do not do this.

Dammit, there goes my weekend! Oh well, guess I can still just eat that dead cow that's been taking up space in the lab 🤷

[–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not “Eureka!” but “That’s funny …”

[–] dave@feddit.uk 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] trolololol@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

My favorite is the one on fire

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 6 points 3 weeks ago

Not to be confused with "is it supposed to be making a noise", which is usually pretty bad

[–] The_v@lemmy.world 33 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

The one I see the most is:

"We avoided any semblance of rational experimental design and got significant results."

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago

We were awarded grant money from a corporation and got results that are favourable to them but require further grants to really boost that evidence up a notch, wink wink

[–] Hamartiogonic@sopuli.xyz 6 points 3 weeks ago

If all else fails, use "significant at a p>0.05 level" and hope no one notices.

source: xkcd

[–] PlexSheep@infosec.pub 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

There is also "We did nothing of value"

[–] Agret@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Aka "we applied a standard theory to standard circumstances and got the expected result" - one can argue it does help in a way by providing another dataset although it didn't really accomplish anything it can be useful for student research projects in that field.

[–] PlexSheep@infosec.pub 1 points 3 weeks ago

No I meant wasting time with useless stuff

[–] Mubelotix@jlai.lu 12 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] PlexSheep@infosec.pub 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm afraid tree mapping isn't yet in it

[–] Mubelotix@jlai.lu 1 points 3 weeks ago

It is. But it groups trees that are next to each other. You can add a single tree in the "Things" overlay

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago

Content notice on explainxkcd:

This explanation may be incomplete or incorrect: Created by a DEPTH-FIRST TREE SEARCHER

😄

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago

Don't forget "these are novel circumstances and so we attempted something, but really the circumstances are so novel that just documenting them is pretty neat"

[–] metaStatic@kbin.earth 6 points 3 weeks ago

We applied a map of every tree to a set of all possible sets we're waiting on the results