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A seating chart for an "8 HOUR FLIGHT" with the text "PICK YOUR SEAT" at the top. The chart is composed of 10 numbered seats, each occupied by a different famous Republican politician or public figure, or the devil. Each number represents a seat, and each seat is either adjacent to or between one or two different individuals.
I don't know who the guy next to me is but 10. I'll be at the aisle, facing it at a 15° angle, I also pee a lot, and the old dude will probably nap soundly for most of the flight anyway
I turn around and take the next flight
Fuck it, I'll walk at this point.
10, I can watch the show in front while the guy next to me turtle crawls to the grave
And if I get bored as a constituent I have words for Vance and I’m not afraid to speak across an aisle to inform him what I think
Going 9. Robert and Green bickering would be fun to stoke. Plus I kinda think I could get along with Robert for the duration by annoying Ghram. I will also be leaning all the way back and throwing my trash behind me where it belongs
I like how your phone thinks Bobert is a typo.
As a non-American, I only recognize Donald Trump and Hulk Hogan in this picture. I would pick seat 7. The person in front of me looks innocent, and behind me is a woman, so she probably isn’t too tall and won't kick my chair. She might even allow me to recline my seat. I don't know much about Hulk Hogan, but he seems like a cool dude, and I like his mustache. Tell me, did I choose wisely?
Ted Cruz always looks like a dog that just shit on your carpet.
4: I can egg him on all flight and seed some new conspiracies. Maybe even record everything and send it to the lawyer handling the sandyhook case.
I mean I bet the devil would be super interesting. Great conversationalist, too. Almost...seductive.
Pilot seat cause I'm gunna crash the plane
ill take the wing, or risk the cold in the landing gear chamber
That's not entirely true, everyone knows boebert is also a whore in the sexual manner too.
Maybe you can ask for a handjob
Next to Hogan I'll at least get to hear his absurd lies and he can tell me stories about wrestling, though the stories won't be accurate.
I'm between Green and Boebert, I might get a handjob but I'll get a brain aneurysm... Tough choices
It's so freaking hard to choose because I want all of those seats.
It's not a matter of not wanting to sit next to them it's that I want to make all of their trips as horrible as possible.
I think if I had to though, I'd take 10 if it was the middle seat. I'd spend the entire trip punching them in the groin.
I'd take seat 7, dude. Then distract Terry with questions about pythons, jack.
1
I get to kick trumps seat and put shit in his hair all flight long. I'm not worried about Nick id just kick his ass.
4 because I'd love to see what that dude was like in an untelevised conversation.
5 is relatively safe, since I'm not a sofa. I can handle awkward silence.
3 could probably be a good time. He's a dick, sure, but he's probably not as annoying as any of the others.
I'd go with 9 to shred any remaining will to live left in me.
#4. At least you could get Alex talking about lizard people and stuff.
If I'm gonna get to tell people about this story, I'm not gonna settle for the 2nd best reason that your flight complaint doesn't register on the scale I've dealt with. I'm going for the best. It can literally only go up from here.
The actual devil would probably be a pretty interesting flight neighbor. Fun fact, I'd talked to Hulk Hogan in person more than once in random places, he actually talks "like that" all the time. He called me "brother", was weird as fuck.
5 does not have any open seat. Would likely go with 3 I'll make a deal with Satan to erase all this people in the plane, for my unborn child.