Ask Lemmy

Oh my god, first things first, repair relations with Ukraine. Secondly end the war. Thirdly repair relations with the west.

Then begin the task of figuring out why a random white guy in Ohio suddenly became the ruler of russia.

Also, stay away from windows and tea. I imagine MANY russians would attempt to take the life of an American who's ruling their world.

But also, I'd actually make attempts to improve the health and happyness of people in russia. And increase tolerance towards gay people. It's like the 1980s over there in that regard.

Reminds me of an 'elseworlds' Batman story from a while ago.

Bats kills R'as al Ghul but realizes that Ghul's evil empire is still operational. Batman takes the role of R'as, but sets it up so that all his top lieutenants take each other out. It takes a few years, but eventually the League of Assassins is a force for good in the world.

Something similar in Russia. Pit the worst of the worst against each other and let democracy prevail.

Immediately stop the war against Ukraine and pull back to the 1990s border, then enlist international experts to improve the country and peacefully integrate with the global community

Now that's a sequel to Freaky Friday I'm down for. I don't want the Putin mantle though, can the movie feature Zelenskyy and Putin waking up in each other's bodies?

(Real answer btw is the same as everyone else, we just want the war to end and Russia to be free, y'all.)

Abdicate. And die I guess. I couldn't even navigate politics in the US, no way could I politick at a Vlad level.

Wow, this is my one of my least favorite reincarnation isekai yet

If I just magically appeared and everyone knows it was magic, I could claim to be God and get even more power.

Obviously stop the war but after that: Step one, thorough cleaning of public offices. Step two MRUSSRA hats. Step three, no profits.

I remove the nukes.

Put most of my hoarded billions $ into funding education in Russia -and funding a legitimate socialist party in America.🇺🇸

Put all money into conquering pluto while trying to make it a planet again

Try and do what Trotsky wanted to do before Stalin took the reigns.

If you havent already, I would highly recommend you watch the following video by CGP Grey:

Rules for Rulers https://youtu.be/rStL7niR7gs

It describes why its so difficult to turn a country around from authoritarian to benefiting the people. Even with magical dictatorial power.

Immediately start figuring out how I can disappear. I am not cut out for the world Putin lives in.

But assuming I'm staying in the job, I find oligarchs who have been personally impacted particularly badly by western sanctions and share with them that the war has become too costly. I know I can't openly just change my mind, because too much of the apparatus below me would gut me for it and nobody on the other side would believe me. So we're orchestrating a coup against me. If you just let me fuck off, I will, and we'll set it up so that you're taking the reins off of me. Powerful figures that have legitimate grievances against the ongoing costs of the war are going to forcefully oust me and offer peace. I'll try to pick one who will actually do that. Someone who stands to profit enormously from better relations with Europe.

Pull out of the wars, declare myself a constitutional monarch, then appoint a prime minister from a reasonable democratic party and then call an election every 5 years.

I do not accept the new position and therefore I leave Russia secretly, as fast as possible, and go back to my home.

After all, I want to live a little longer than Russian leaders usually do.