this post was submitted on 20 Aug 2024
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A Boring Dystopia

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Starbucks says Niccol can live in his home in Newport Beach, California and commute to Starbucks' head office 1,000 miles away on a corporate jet

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[–] AstroGnomeical@mander.xyz 336 points 2 months ago (9 children)

How do you boycott a company you already weren't buying anything from?

[–] LostXOR@fedia.io 132 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Go there every day and ask for a water. It's free, but you're costing them a tiny amount each time.

[–] Quill7513@slrpnk.net 126 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Oh I was gonna recommend arson. Maybe your plan is better

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 93 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Well you gotta use up all their water first

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[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago

Free water, arson, bricks, and bullhorns. With these four powers combined, I am.. Captain Protest!

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[–] lemmus@lemmy.world 223 points 2 months ago (14 children)

The sooner we destroy all private jets the better.

[–] zcd@lemmy.ca 105 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] T00l_shed@lemmy.world 62 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Arcanum@midwest.social 26 points 2 months ago

…To shreds you say?

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[–] painfulasterisk1@lemmy.ml 205 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm sorry, if you aren't willing to relocate, you are not a good fit for the company.

I heard this in a job interview and the position was disclosed as remote.

[–] Scolding7300@lemmy.world 30 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I don't understand why can't the CEO be remote. They can buy all their important staff Apple Vision Pros if they'd like and it'll still be cheaper than this

[–] bluemellophone@lemmy.world 45 points 2 months ago

That’s not how you write off a corporate jet from your taxes.

[–] Blackout@fedia.io 185 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Next time Starbucks does a greenwashing campaign just think of this asshole drinking champagne while commuting on a private jet.

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[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 164 points 2 months ago (3 children)

So, you're going to continue to increase climate change, rather than just using a zoom call. GOD DAMN CEOS!!! Why the hell is return to office so important to you assholes??? Just do a god damned video call!

[–] CaptDust@sh.itjust.works 56 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Have you considered the culture ?? Hmmm????

[–] Milksteaks@midwest.social 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yeah the cubicle farm that smells like farts and microwaved fish is integral to a good days work!

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[–] ashok36@lemmy.world 29 points 2 months ago (2 children)

A zoom call has the possibility of being recorded. I'm 90% sure at this point all these execs insist on in person meetings is so they can plan and discuss illegal and unethical shit without worry.

I'm only in middle management and I know I feel the difference in the way I talk about things on zoom calls VS in person.

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[–] Karyoplasma@discuss.tchncs.de 26 points 2 months ago

Self-preservation. If they stay at home for too long, they'll get sued for domestic violence.

[–] mavu@discuss.tchncs.de 98 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Calling it "supercommute" is such a stupid thing. It should be called "stupidcommute" or maybe "commoronute".

[–] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 24 points 2 months ago

Cuntycommuting

There ya go

[–] demizerone@lemmy.world 84 points 2 months ago (5 children)

I have to dry my clothes between 12am and 3pm and this m'fer gets to fly a jet to work. Private jets along with luxury yachts are things humanity shouldn't have.

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[–] z3rOR0ne@lemmy.ml 75 points 2 months ago

Well fuck you and your co² farting anus, Brian Niccol!

[–] Threeme2189@lemmy.world 73 points 2 months ago (4 children)

supercommute

I think the word they're looking for is 'travel'.

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[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 70 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Real "Meetings that could have been Emails" energy on this executive level decision.

Honestly, doing the big Star Wars Emperor hologram head would have made this guy look less evil.

[–] bacon_saber@fedia.io 70 points 2 months ago
[–] spookedintownsville@lemmy.world 58 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Do we have the FAA registration number for the aforementioned jet yet?

[–] SturgiesYrFase@lemmy.ml 24 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Didn't they change the law so you can't track private flights anymore? Or was Melon Husk just trying to get that done? Or was that just me imagining things again? 🤔

[–] spookedintownsville@lemmy.world 35 points 2 months ago (1 children)

As far as I know, you can still track Elon's flights. It's not illegal since it was all publicly available information to begin with.

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[–] mvirts@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

They can't prevent tracking because aircraft are required to broadcast their information when in flight.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Automatic_Dependent_Surveillance%E2%80%93Broadcast

[–] Xtallll@lemmy.blahaj.zone 24 points 2 months ago (6 children)

The FAA reauthorization act slipped in that ownership of private jets could remain anonymous. So you can still track them, because all flight plans are public and need to be for safety reasons, but they no longer have to tell you who owns what tail number. A dedicated tracker can figure out what plane belongs to who, either by showing up at the airport, or by comparing flight logs with other information about celebrity locations.

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[–] FuryMaker@lemmy.world 56 points 2 months ago (10 children)

Just stop buying their coffee. You don't need it.

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[–] inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world 47 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Niccol can live in his home in Newport Beach, California and commute to Starbucks’ head office 1,000 miles away on a corporate jet

Replace all the Taylor Swift memes with this fucking guy.

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[–] kfchan@fedia.io 44 points 2 months ago

Bro should one way supercommute into the sun

[–] AshMan85@lemmy.world 44 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 42 points 2 months ago (13 children)

I think there should be tax on flights, and the tax rate should double every time you fly in a year.

Nobody needs to be this cunty.

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[–] subignition@fedia.io 41 points 2 months ago (2 children)

The fucker should fly business class with everybody else

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 33 points 2 months ago (3 children)
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[–] tacticalsugar@lemmy.blahaj.zone 33 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Remember kids, climate change is your fault specifically, and only you can make things better by making your own life harder!

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[–] Donebrach@lemmy.world 32 points 2 months ago

We need to return to the office though.

[–] cultsuperstar@lemmy.world 30 points 2 months ago

Lucky him. Other corporations are designating hub cities and forcing remote employees to move or find a new job.

[–] Linkerbaan@lemmy.world 27 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Be glad he's not hypercommuting

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[–] smokebuddy@lemmy.today 23 points 2 months ago

I wonder what happened to all the Chipotle head office employees who had to relocate to be near this guy now that he bounced

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