Gaming

I’m gonna come out swinging: not even a game, but two entire fucking genres:

1. Battle royales. I am like 90% convinced that gamers have been tricked by some dark psychology that has somehow convinced them that these games are worth playing. I don’t know whether it’s because the quality of FPS games has been so low for so long that today’s gamers have never really played a properly fun shooter or what. Battle royales are 75% downtime. You spend so long fucking around parachuting in to the map, walking around, collecting stuff, bla bla bla, interspersed by just a few moments of action, and when you get killed it usually doesn’t feel fair, it’s because a whole other team showed up right as you were already fighting someone else and put you in a nearly impossible situation.

2. MOBA games are just RTS games with the best bits taken out.

For me it was Cyberpunk 2077. Yes there were all those bugs at launch but I did not have too many issues. My main complaint was the story and the characters. The protagonist V was without any compassion, just a loud asshole. I couldn't empathize at all. I felt like I wasn't able to make any decisions were I was happy with the outcome. Additionally the gameplay was mediocre at best. A lot of places in the world felt completely rushed and unfinished. Combined with the lies from marketing, I wasn't hooked at all and felt betrayed.

Destiny 2. I played THE HELL out of Destiny 1, then 2 rolls around and it was like they forgot everything that people liked about 1.

You couldn't access the story missions from the map, and you couldn't replay them on demand, you could only play them off a playlist. There was a weekly heroic story mission that gave a powerful engram reward, then they removed the reward and people stopped playing even that. Eventually they removed the story missions entirely "because nobody was playing them". Big brain move there!

In Destiny 1, each series of missions on a planet ended with a higher level "strike". So you'd pick the missions off the map based on your light level, then level up to hit the strike, then move on to the missions on the next planet.

In D2, not only could you not see the missions, or what level you were supposed to be, the strikes weren't present on the map at all, you could only play them on a play list and the play list was randomized. It was also bugged, often delivering the same strike over and over and others not at all, leaving gaps in the storyline and player experience.

They did patch things, like being able to play strikes on demand, then about 1/2 way through the life cycle Bungie decided to just delete 1/2 of the content in the game. New players would come in, have no access to the original story missions, no idea what was going on, and no idea how to proceed without watching a bunch of youtube videos showing the content removed from the game.

For existing players, they decided that people had spent too much time, in some cases hundreds of hours, curating their perfect weapon and armor sets. Rather than create better gear to replace what people loved, they artificially capped old gear to sunset it and force people to "upgrade" to crappier gear that replaced it. They intentionally didn't make better gear because they were afraid of "power creep" and legitimately "explained" that they no longer knew how to design the game around the old gear. Funny, they didn't have that problem when it was the ONLY gear.

Maybe it's better now? I dunno, the way Bungie totally disrespected the time I spent playing and money I spent on expansions, they'll never get another dime from me.

Ubisoft style open world games. I honestly know I'm not built to enjoy them but I convinced myself to try and finish Horizon Zero Dawn and it was a huge mistake.

For a single player game, it vigorously wastes your time. The entire game is based around crafting but each time you need to gather something you need to come to a full stop, and spend a second watching the interact meter fill before you can gather each thing you see in the overworld.

The talent trees either contain things that are not meaningfully impactful on the core experience, ie tons of talents are slightly dressed up raw damage increases. Or they are things that are meaningful, but not surprising such as silent takedowns or bullet time. Overall it feels like Aloy was designed to be kind of fun and then they hamstrung her in a bunch of different ways to give a reason for the talent system to exist, and it takes the runtime of the whole game to undo this.

Many quests do not have anything to say about the lore or characterization of the world, whether it be for individual characters or the world overall.

"Competitive" multiplayer games in general. I miss it when multiplayer games were just fun and not streamlined misery simulators where the attitude is everyone is an idiot except yourself.

I know it's popular to fart on Overwatch 2, but even when the original came out I thought it was so fucking dull. The No Man Sky quote "Wide as an ocean, deep as a puddle" can very well explain the hero roster of that game.

I'd rather do a barefoot pilgrimage to Jerusalem than play CS:GO, League of Legends, Overwatch, Fartnite, Valorant, etc.

Team Fortress 2 is unbalanced and janky, and it's 1000x more fun than any of those games. It even proved that the competitive crowd could do their own thing that suit their needs, instead of ruining a game to the ground with "balance" and unfun gameplay.

Superman 64 is the only game I tried to return to Blockbuster before the rental window was done. They wouldn't let me so I had to keep it for the rest of the week.

I'll list a few.

• MLB: The Show. I used to really enjoy these games because they felt like a sports game that actually cared about making a very realistic simulation while still keeping it fun. Now everything is about Diamond Dynasty, the fantasy baseball mode. All the other modes only reward you by giving you packs and giving you a gentle shove into Diamond Dynasty. One of my favorite modes was "March to October" where you play select innings in select games over the course of a whole season. Each game's outcome determines your team's general ability over the season. The better you do, the better you win rate and the higher chance of making it into the post season. Your rewards? Card packs. SMH.

• Ghostrunner. The levels were fun and had big Hotline Miami vibes but the boss fights were far too difficult and just utterly boring. Yeah, I really liked wall running in circles for minutes on end because the floor was lava. That was great.

• Atomic Heart. Bought it on a whim while high. I liked the bioshock influence and the level design is really cool. It just suffers from being a "survival horror" without the survival or the horror, so most of the gameplay involves you scrounging around for bullets and then dealing ultra light blows to enemies because you ran out of your 3 bullets. Pretty much none of the combat was fun and the stealth was a relentless ultra punishing slog. As a lover of stealth games, please if you're considering making a stealth game do not take any notes from this game. It did it all wrong.

• Dying Light 2. I loved the first game but this game just sorta felt overwhelming in a way? I really don't know how else to put it. I like open world games but developers just need to calm the fuck down. I don't need 10 map markers.

• The Quarry. I get that it's supposed to be a rip on teen slasher movies but that still didn't make it very fun to me. I loved Until Dawn and played it probably 5 times so I was super hyped for this but just really let down. I hated the way the game ended and I hated pretty much every second that I played it.

• The Hunter: Call of the Wild. It was just boring. I guess that's what hunting is like in real life, but so is truck driving and I like truck simulator games...

papers please. i thought i was doing pretty well in the beginning, but i guess it's built in to the narrative of the game that no matter how hard you work, your family will still get sick and die, and the story progresses by you unknowingly screwing up and letting in a terrorist. not only are you responsible for paying for your own mistakes, it only gets harder and more unforgiving with each level. i realized pretty quickly that it's not fun at all to spend my precious free time playing an extremely punishing game about working.

Myst. I know, I know. One of the hallmarks of video games. I hated it. I like games that give you a path and let you figure it out. I've hundreds of hours into Factorio and it's kin. Portal! A puzzle game, Portal gives you A and Z and lets you figure out how to get there. Myst doesn't do ANYTHING. Nothing was obvious to me. I didn't understand where the A to Z was. I couldn't find A, Z, or any of the other steps. None of it clicked. Years ago, I watched some parts of walk throughs and I did not understand how I was supposed to know the things they were doing. None of it made any sense to me.

Honestly, Armored Core VI. Endgame spoilers below (idk if there's a way to do spoiler tags?).

The final boss is absolutely godawful. Just utter garbage. It took me hours, and I hated it from my first attempt. It's categorically different from anything else in the game, and there's never a point where it's fun. Probably 20% of my total playtime was on this one boss. I was absolutely loving the game up until then, but that one boss is so unbelievably poorly designed that it ruined the entire game for me. It's genuinely impressively horrible.

Before I say this I do admit I am in the wrong, and that an overwhelming majority of people love this game, and I understand that on an objective level it was both ground breaking and excellent.

I cannot, for the life of me, enjoy breath of the wild due to weapons breaking. I played maybe 5 hours? I got excited when I found a cool sword, and then proceeded to never use it because I was afraid to "waste" it. (and repeat that with new weapons, to save which I have to go find some little seed people to have more inventory slots?)

I understand that they want me to try new things, but for me, for some reason, it just wasn't fun. I want to be excited when I find new loot, not anxious. Maybe it's because I grew up with Diablo-like games, where accumulating loot was the fun part, but I can't seem to enjoy it when the game takes toys away from me.

Idlegames, though I kind of dont want to count those as games in the first place. What make them anathema to fun to me is that they are designed for you to waste your time on them. They dont teach you anything either, maybe some prioritization if you really get into them.

I found spelunky to be a game not fitting for me at all. I really wanted to like it, but I found myself to be unmotivated when I kept losing and didn't feel like making more skillwise progress. I might just suck, but I just don't feel like playing that punishing roguelikes.

Terraria, it's a hot take I think but I just dislike it so much.

I dislike the controls, the appearance, the sorta jank, I just find it to be a more boring Minecraft and Minecraft can already be boring. I don't understand the love for it and I think it ruined a friendship with a group that really only wanted to play that and league of legends

I have a few:

• Tunic: I thought it had more than one puzzle, with how it was being talked about online, but it ended up repeating the same thing for 6 hours reusing the same gimmick over and over - after a below average first half.

• Xenoblade Chronicles (DE): the characters were really uninteresting, the story kept spoiling every attempted twist it had with needless foreshadowing and the combat felt really boring. The world was empty and it felt like a dead MMO.

• 13 Sentinels: I won't spoil anything specific, but the story was just a bunch of the most generic sci-fi cliches.

• Monster Hunter Rise: I love World/Iceborne and really enjoyed the parts I played of GU and 4U but Rise just felt bad to play.

• Games that force daily tasks/gacha games: I hate being forced - or even just being hinted at having - to grind daily. It just ends up pushing me away from the game, even if I'm enjoying it. I can't play games like Genshin Impact and Star Rail, but also the daily challenges in sf5/6 bother me every time I see them.

I also don't really get roguelikes, but I'm not sure if I just haven't found one I enjoy or I don't like the genre.