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The Onion

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New iPhone 15 Includes 12 Animal Sounds And Colorful Lever (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social

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[–] aeronmelon@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The Tim Cook goes...

"Good moOOorning!"

[–] Steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The Steve jobs goes "fuck the newton"

[–] eltimablo@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

Ironically, the ARM chip in the iPhone only exists because Apple tried to make the Newton.

[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I bet the 16 will have TWO levers!

[–] ares35@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

ima gonna wait for the Gillette model.

[–] HenriHenr@feddit.de 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

*Only the pro version

[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago

Well sure, but what kind of poverty-stricken commoner can't afford the pro version?

[–] Francis_Fujiwara@sh.itjust.works -1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You really have to be a normie to buy an iPhone...

[–] Zink@programming.dev 1 points 1 year ago

Nah, you just have to want to treat your phone as an appliance rather than yet another computer to fuck around with.

…and it helps when the friends & family around you are normies overwhelmingly using Apple devices, lol.

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 0 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I have five PCs, two RPis, some laptops, gigabit, multiple switches running shit all across my house…

Or a phone, I want something I touch and it work good. I don’t want to have to fuck with it, I don’t want to have to get new ones often (this one is five years old) and I don’t use Google anything (privacy.)

I don’t have any other choice. Also iOS is dope.

[–] RogueBanana@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Ah yes, degoogling for privacy by using apple product

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 year ago

Out of any company out there, Apple is the least shitty for privacy.

[–] Bipta@kbin.social -3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Downvoted specifically for "I don't have any other choice."

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh no not the downvotes!

What’s my other fucking choice then?

[–] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Whale ink, goat feather and rice paper