Even back in the 80s we didn't excuse bigotry, no matter the age or the history of the person. We maybe didn't feel as safe calling it out publicly back in the day, but it was certainly discussed. A bigot is a bigot, end of story. There was no excuse for it in 1983- when the ones "from a different time" were young!- and there's still no excuse for it forty years later.
this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2023
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Yall aren't important. Like, AT ALL lol. Go away already, lol. Do everyone a favor and defederate from all lemmy instances so we dont have to hear about your constant and insesint bitching all the fucking time. God dam, having terminal cancer is probably enjoyable compared to seeing your nonsense posts every.fucking.day. You guys need to be sent off to an isolated island in the Atlantic Ocean so you can circle jerk to your over inflated self-importance when the reality is you're probably the fat general manager at burger King fucking Deborah who is mentally handicap 🤣
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People need to be educated, and you’re not going to change their minds by becoming hostile
This might be a bad opinion. But it's not transphobic.
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You say that
People need to be educated, and you're not going to change their minds by becoming hostile.
Is a bad take, but then your follow up explanation doesn't really go into detail about the sentiment behind this statement and reads completely off topic. Do you really think hostility is necessary to educate? Like when responding to an ignorant comment, are you yelling at them? As irrational as some phobics are, I agree you're not going to change their minds by flying off the handle and yelling at them or using hostile language. Not only do many people of all opinions respond poorly to that, the ones making bad faith arguments want you to get pissed and make you look irrational. Don't fucking let them.
your follow up explanation doesn’t really go into detail about the sentiment behind this statement and reads completely off topic
Are you misinterpreting my post? These are not arguments said by me -- these are arguments that come from bad-faith actors who are polluting what are supposed to be welcoming forums by putting the onus on us to behave politely when they are coming into threads with their nonsensical gish gallop. Here you can read more about this. It's the "You got upset, I win" bullshit that infested reddit and is now infesting Lemmy.
Like when responding to an ignorant comment, are you yelling at them?
Sometimes, yes, and it is not my place to defend my right to exist, and now I'm yelling at you.
you’re not going to change their minds by flying off the handle and yelling at them or using hostile language
Again, changing their minds is not my place. In an inclusive forum, LGBT+ people don't have to defend our right to exist constantly. If someone wants to learn, there are places they can go that won't exhaust a bunch of innocent people trying to exist.
the ones making bad faith arguments want you to get pissed and make you look irrational
Yes, and this is why they need to be removed from this community. They don't belong in a space that is supposed to be validating and welcoming to all.
Don’t fucking let them.
Oh wow, haven't heard this one before a million times from bigots and their defenders. Thanks for the contribution, Dr. Phil. Now go fuck yourself. Reported.
It is literally part of Beehaw rules to be nice to each others, cf this excerpt from beehaw rules:
If you aren’t nice, we’ll remind you to be nice. If you continue to be problematic, we’ll escalate from there, but it will be on a case-by-case basis. If your first reply when we ask you to be nice to each other is to tell us to “fuck off”, we will respond in kind.
It is also part of the rules to not be transphobic, cf
we simply do not tolerate intolerant behavior. Being explicitly racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, or bigoted in any other fashion is not tolerated here.
If you find a transphobic post and you feel that you are unable to reply nicely, the correct course of action would be to report said transphobic post.
If you are not content with this rule of "be nice" I'm afraid Beehaw is not for you
i don't know why you've reported this because the person you're talking to clearly is not doing what you're charging them of doing. they just disagree with you--and, well, we're not going to throw someone who clearly isn't a bad faith actor or a nazi off the site for disagreeing with you on whether or not hostility toward transphobes is a good tactic or not.
I disagree. I don't mind if they want to be polite to transphobes and take that approach, but I think I made it clear in my post that I'm disgusted with people who arrogantly presume to lecture us on how we need to be nicer. It's all part of the severely misguided idea that people withdraw allyship because we're not kind and patient enough. Sometimes anger is justified. I'd much rather someone be angry at me while defending equity and human rights, vs. someone being a polite bigot.
Please do let me know your thoughts though, because maybe it is I who needs to take a break.
Personally I feel that asking a marginalized community to "be nice" to those oppressing them is complete hogwash; I believe it was Martin Luther King Jr. who said "riots are the voice of a rebellion."
That being said, I think that what Kolanki was trying to say is that a majority of the time, transphobes aren't looking to have their mind changed when they log onto the internet to spread their bigotry; they're looking for an outburst of violent reaction from the people they torment.
Oftentimes they may be looking for this as evidence to support whatever claim they're making about trans people (they're violent, they have an agenda, they want to take people's kids, etc). Coming from a background of abuse, I agree that we shouldn't feed the bigots much like one shouldn't feed trolls; they never leave once you start unless removed by force (i.e. banned from a community, in this case).
I do agree that people don't withdraw allyship because we're not kind or nice or patient enough or what-have-you; that is something that I have not seen personally and anecdotally from other marginalized people (in fact, I've tended to see the opposite).
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Are you misinterpreting my post? These are not arguments said by me -- these are arguments that come from bad-faith actors
If that truly is the case, I guess I did. My bad. But considering you said it was a bad opinion you saw, and not someone else saying that opinion was bad, you should maybe reword your post or re-read mine because I disagree that one argument is a bad opinion.
Oh wow, haven't heard this one before a million times from bigots and their defenders. Thanks for the contribution, Dr. Phil. Now go fuck yourself. Reported.
This is exactly what I'm talking about. Two misunderstandings, but your first instinct is to tell me to go fuck myself and report my comment. Now it's hard to tell you're actually being genuine about this argument not being your own. You're not going to change minds by being a cunt and just having them removed. You clearly do not care about changing opinions; just protecting your own.
I mean, swap out the implied "protecting your own (opinion)" with "protecting your own (place on the Internet where we can live largely free from well-meaning but ignorant people, actual bigots, and sea lions)" and I do think that was OP's point, yes.
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Bad take. I don't want it to be up to me as a trans person to educate anyone anymore. And if they're bad faith ban them lmao.
Bad take. I don't want it to be up to me as a trans person to educate anyone anymore.
No, this is a bad take. You're in the best possible position to educate people about your own thoughts, feelings, and what it is like being trans. Your voice can make changes that would help other trans people. If everyone shared this attitude, the only people educating others about trans would be non-trans people who have no idea what it's like to be trans.
If they truly are in bad faith, you would still have to engage them beyond reading one question to know that for sure, and this side of the LGBTQA+ community has a really bad habit of immediately being triggered by pretty much any questions about trans topics, regardless of how they are presented or by whom.
I read this thread and I agree with you. I can't give up on those who don't understand.
I wanna add though, I chose Blahaj Zone (the trans safe space instance) because I'm finding arguments distracting. I think at this point, I get a lot more pride and hope out of finding out an artist or musician is trans. Everytime Pigstep plays in minecraft I just stand there and enjoy it.
It's not a trans persons responsibility to have to explain their existence though. Can you imagine how exhausting that would be? Give them a break. Give them some cover. I actually love all my trans friends and I try to listen and see what they want. I don't put the burden on them to be the trans explainer in all situations.
I just give them love when they need it, and an ear when they need it. I think, just like all of us, they just want to exist and not be hassled about it most times, and if given the right space and the right moment they might tell you about their experience and maybe you'll get a chance to help.
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"Never argue with stupid people they'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience" -Mark Twain
Besides which, it's not kind to spew vitriol, nor is it productive. It's certainly understandable to be outraged. It makes sense. You certainly can't ignore such things, it's not right. Responding in hatred only feeds the conviction of the ignorant and diminishes the righteousness of your own stance.
It's a lose-lose.
I won't even start talking about who benefits from everyone fighting each other... Certainly not us!
point number one is perfectly reasonable but has been weaponized by your enemies.
I understand what's going on when people dog pile on me for asking a naive question because it's so often the starting point for bad faith actors, but many people just see the community as hostile and unwilling to alleviate ignorance.
be kind, don't do their work for them.
Do as you like, but don't imply that it is necessary to be kind to those who question LGBT+ people's right to equity. It is you who are working for them when you imply we will lose allyship by not being nice enough.
many people just see the community as hostile and unwilling to alleviate ignorance
...which is itself a bigoted belief. No one who approaches in good faith legitimately believes this. You've been deceived.
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Not sure which post you're talking about, but in general, yeah. Any kind of excusing of transphobia is 100% not tolerated here. I'm not a mod of this particular community, but please use the report button if you see anything like this happening.
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