Time to break out ol' faithful
this post was submitted on 16 Jun 2024
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Sorry for being late boss, my car woke down.
Where can I buy woke water?
The tears of Conservatives
hands down my favorite comment on this post
Too much lead unfortunately
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There's a small craft brewery in small-town Wisconsin that partnered with a coffee roaster to make a canned coffee called "Woke". The coffee is pretty good, and the beer is damn good.
They piss off the local right-wing government, so they're constantly getting shut down, but it usually only lasts a couple weeks.
Water works the same no matter gender, race, creed, sexual orientation, age or any other human metric. Water is the wokest thing ever!
You have to collect rainwater and filter it yourself
Only known way for truly ethical water
A true "Patriot" would follow the trail of the filter. Where did the raw materials come from for the filter? where was it manufactured? how was it shipped to the store? Who put it on the shelf? If a dirty librul ever touched it then it can't be certified as "non-woke"
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Sometimes, I wish I lacked a sense of guilt. I could make so much money conning these people...
But then if I lacked a sense of guilt, I'd be one of them.
Mood. Maybe make a bunch of money conning them and donate directly to causes they oppose?
They just keep fleecing the rubes and the rubes just keep letting them
It looks so easy 😭 I wish I had the starting capital and lack of morals to start one of these grifts.
Just print out the word “freedom” in size 72 times new roman on your printer (doesn’t matter if it won’t fit on one line) and tape it to some blank t-shirts. Go to a Republican event and sell them
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Snowflakes. Incredibly infantile in their "freedom fries" kind of way.
I hate to say it, but Dems should be trying to reclaim the word "freedom". It makes absolutely no sense for Cons to be attached to it so strongly. We need more freedom fries and liberty toast.
I think they do, it's just not repeated ad-nauseam and attached to everything like the Cons do. Free to be LGBTQ, free to read the books you want, free to organize labor, etc... Real, tangible, life-improving freedoms. Cons? All they want is freedom to take everyone else's rights away. That's their "freedom".
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she got the idea for the brand while watching the Republican debates, where she noticed audience members drinking water that had “no connection to the people drinking it.”
They could have been drinking the same water as the blue team. Disgusting.
What's that, Nestle?
Nope, Nestle is too woke. Anything that doesn't say "Freedom" is too woke.
Ironic because freedom is also woke.
Pumped downstream of some chemical factories on the great Mississippi river for that slight hint of deregulation flavor.
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Now with extra lead!
That's just what I was thinking. It should contain added microplastics and industrial waste. And it should come in bottles made of plastic that cant' be recycled and never breaks down. That would be the proper way to support right wing environmental policies. It would also be another "don't get vaccinated" way for them to kill their own supporters.
Is there a single generic product these imbeciles won't line up to buy if you slap trumps face, or the word freedumb, or the anti-woke label on it? I should have been a grifter.
I jokingly asked my wife recently if I could quit my job and become a right wing YouTuber. I have worked in video and audio production for over a decade, I would have an operation up and running in probably a week if I really wanted to do it. We laughed and sighed…And then realized that unfortunately, I would probably be at least modestly successful.
I think the way you need to do it is The Onion style of journalism, with a wink and a nod. BUT when your crazy ass right wing theories get shared as "FACTS" on other social media sites you don't dispute it. I kinda think that is how most right wing YouTubers do it.
Rebooting The Colbert Report
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We're almost at the "Brawndo" level of Idiocracy.
This is their version of corporate pride month merch.
Republicans will buy damned near anything out of spite.
This sincerely might be the most pathetic thing I’ve ever seen, I don’t even have words anymore
anti-woke water is what i call my nighttime melatonin drink
I'll stick to refilling old bottles with tap water.
You should use a reusable water bottle for that purpose though. Don't reuse single-use plastic like that
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Water bottle business and how boomers fell for it is microcosm of how modern America works.
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Woke water, anti-woke water; all bottled by Nestle!
Republicans: Keep political statements out of my sports/TV/video games/etc!
Also Republicans: You can now make drinking water a political statement!
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