this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] salarua@sopuli.xyz 108 points 3 months ago (1 children)

anything but the metric system

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago

We may be the minority, but many of us Americans prefer the metric system.

Ease of conversion and relationship with calories aside, have you ever tried measuring small SI machine screws? Calipers run decimal, not fractions. You can’t compare them without math or memorization. It’s a pain in the ass.

[–] Flummoxed@lemmy.world 64 points 3 months ago (5 children)

What energy drink is shaped like that?? Maybe the diameter is similar, but no way it's the size of a whole can.

[–] KickMeElmo@sopuli.xyz 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Maybe those five hour energy and similar shots? That's all I can come up with though.

[–] Flummoxed@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

"Size of a nice rice ball" would have been more appropriate. Maybe if you tried flattening a 5 hour?

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Texans do not know what a riceball is.

The American localization of Pokemon in the 1990s calling onigiri (triangular riceballs) doughnuts has become one of the most infamous in-jokes in Anime.

[–] Flummoxed@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

Well, that's funny, since I am a Texan. 🤷

[–] variants@possumpat.io 9 points 3 months ago

I don't know I've never removed the pelt off one

[–] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Well “energy” is a bit of a stretch but… (I'll let YouTube thumbnails take it from here)

inb4”silence brand”

[–] Flummoxed@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Ok, ok, maybe... Thank you for this. Good call.

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

I like these, but places near me don't seem to sell them. Well, my local gas station used to, but they were always hidden in the back and expired which is gross as fuck.

[–] altima_neo@lemmy.zip 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

We talking red bull or Rockstar?

[–] Flummoxed@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

Neither are ovoid shaped, right? I just don't understand.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

Those small cans you get on the plane? But why the 'energy'? Probably to shitpost IMO.

[–] Evilschnuff@feddit.de 51 points 3 months ago (1 children)

They look exactly golfball-sized, wtf. This is the default measurement unit for hail!

[–] zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Those are some big golf balls you play with. Maybe racquetballs?

[–] BigDiction@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

Yeah this in between golf ball and baseball.

[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 20 points 3 months ago (2 children)

The first line took a while to read. First try I got what could be written as:

"Sizes of energy drink can pelts, we salute you"

I mean "drink can pelts" is a weird way to say aluminum

[–] tiredofsametab@kbin.run 6 points 3 months ago

"energy-drink-can-sized hail..." is how I would have written it. Or, y'know, used numbers like a sane person.

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (3 children)

Well, I mean it's less weird to write "golf ball-sized hail" bcause it's a rather common way to describe the size of hail. Energy drink cans are cylindrical, so it doesn't make immediate sense in anyone's brain in the sentence as a comparison. I'm guessing the author couldn't think of a common enough spherical item of the right size to compare with. Still, I think hyphens would have immediately fixed the strangeness, like the person below you commented.

[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 months ago

Or commas, and better grammar, would have done wonders, too.

"Hail, the size of energy drink can[s], pelt[ed] Texas [...]"

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 3 points 3 months ago

Sports equipment and fruit are the common comparison for spherical objects.

"Grape sized hail" is quick and easy. "Softball sized" gives the proper "holy shit that's huge" reaction.

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[–] callouscomic@lemm.ee 19 points 3 months ago (3 children)

"possible tornado" hurt someone?

What?

[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

Someone wanted comp and the government is filled with gullible idiots.

[–] Eiim@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 months ago

Well, you can have a funnel cloud, but it's not a tornado until the condensation funnel touches the ground, and it's not always clear what the case is until proper surveying is done.

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[–] el_abuelo@lemmy.ml 19 points 3 months ago

It's a good thing they included the coin for scale otherwise we might have just assumed this person had Trump sized hands (another completely valid and totally real unit of measure, the greatest unit of all time actually)

[–] EmoDuck@sh.itjust.works 18 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

How to actually read this:

Hail the size of energy. (Meaning 'Glory to the size of energy')

Drink can pelts Texas while possible tornado injuries US Border Patrol agent.

[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago (2 children)

How do you get the pelt off of an energy drink can, though?

[–] spankinspinach@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 months ago

Or, is it drink can doing the pelting of Texas? Also an interesting option

[–] BubbleMonkey@slrpnk.net 2 points 3 months ago

A surprising lot of them are re-skinned, actually, so that’s a legit thing. Depending on your definition of pelt.

Lots of cans that were printed for discontinued lines, or printed before a label change, have plastic sleeves over the can to re-brand them, even when the label on the old and new is identical..

[–] Eyck_of_denesle@lemmy.zip 18 points 3 months ago (5 children)

I'm ngl, this was so hard to read. Why does english have 2 meanings for can?

[–] bob_lemon@feddit.de 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Also, why should we hail the size of energy drink cans?

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[–] Eyedust@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

Three. Depending on where you are in the U.S., a toilet is also a "can". It's more of a slang meaning, but if you ever hear an American saying they're "going to go hit the can," it means they're going to use the bathroom.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 4 points 3 months ago

Imagine a language invented by a drunken german who thought french sounded nice. That's english in a nutshell

[–] wieson@feddit.de 3 points 3 months ago

Also pelts can mean fur or yeet

[–] tiredofsametab@kbin.run 2 points 3 months ago

Can you do the can can whilst canning peas and drinking a can of monster all whilst on the can?

[–] Otakulad@lemmy.world 14 points 3 months ago

Using republican logic, God hates the border patrol.

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Funny, I've never seen an energy drink come in a can that small.

[–] Sconrad122@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Low key convinced this started out as "monster hail" and then got butchered by an AI or like 5 Google translate passes

[–] pezmaker@programming.dev 8 points 3 months ago

In other news, several border patrol agents seen chasing tornado with tasers drawn.

[–] lemmylommy@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Quickly, shrinkflate the energy drinks

[–] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 months ago

Media is in cahoots - groundwork laid for the gaslight

[–] synae@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 3 months ago

Fuck border patrol, I hereby upgrade "possible tornado" to "neighborhood tornado watch"

[–] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Inb4 euros still being mad about "they'll use anything but metric!"

[–] RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Inb4

Nope, you're late.

[–] cerement@slrpnk.net 7 points 3 months ago

based tornado

[–] itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml 6 points 3 months ago

Hail the size of Pillsbury Toaster Strudel

[–] UltraMagnus0001@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

quick! pour some Gatorade on the crops so it grows better

[–] Okokimup@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

Someone alert Alex Horne

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Redbull would beg to differ

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