this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2024
135 points (95.3% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26995 readers
2137 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
135
What is your motto? (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by FatTony@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
 

Doesn't have to be a life motto. Any motto, for any application.

Mine is: "Fear is shorter than regret."

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

"Give them a hand and they'll want the arm."

In other words while it's okay to help people you need to be careful and impose some limits here and there, as people are naturally greedy and will burden you for their own benefit.

[–] Boomkop3@reddthat.com 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

In my experience people don't ask enough. What something is worth to one is not always the same for another. And I've found my friends struggle to ask for help for what feels like a lot to them, even if it's not to the person they (should be) asking

[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I know a few people like this, too. But by rule my experience is the opposite of yours: people asking me help once will likely do it again and again, unless I impose a limit.

[–] Boomkop3@reddthat.com 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Ehm, yea? And why is that a problem? Some people need help occasionally

[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Ehm, yea?

Yeah. I am highlighting that your personal experience in this regard is different from mine and vice versa.

And why is that a problem? Some people need help occasionally

This is a problem because, as I already said: when you give them a hand they want the arm.

In other words, they start expecting you to spend more and more of your time, labour, brainpower and/or resources, solving their problems, to their benefit, with no regards of that becoming or not a detriment for you.

It's specially egregious in cases where the person doesn't need the help, that they're asking for help just because it's nice to have it.

That's why, as I also said, it's important to impose some limits here and there. Plenty people do not know how to impose those limits, and as a result they are taken advantage of.

Is this clear now?

[–] Boomkop3@reddthat.com 1 points 2 months ago

You are either very cynical or have had some very bad luck finding friends