“In the entire dataset, 29% of men said they never approached a woman in person before. 27% said it had been more than one year. This was larger for men in the age 18-25 group: 45% had never approached a woman in person,” according to the study.
A majority of single males surveyed reported fear as the main reason they do not approach women for dates in person. Fear of rejection and fear of social consequences were the two most common responses.
The data highlights a growing concern in the United States and abroad — loneliness. A 2023 report from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services found that almost half of U.S. adults report “measurable levels of loneliness.”
It's interesting to say the least. It seems as though the social repercussions and rejection are the most profound reason. While the fear of rejection is easy enough to digest. But I think the fear or social consequences is a relatively new construct.
From what I understand it's the fear of being viewed as a creep to approach a woman out of the blue. Which to me, is reasonable enough. But I don't think I have ever heard my old man or anyone of his generation bringing this to the table.
Yet I do remember asking my friends about picking up hints and whether or not men are really that bad at it. And most them saying the just don't want to risk misinterpreting it.
Perhaps there is an argument to be made that approaching women like this, has fallen out of social fashion. What do you guys think?
p.s. I hope this is casual enough of a conversation. I kinda screwed up my last one, I admit.
Edit: Here is a more detailed paper on the survey for those that are interested
Whoa, how is it shallow to be attracted to someone's looks? What a weird take. We're not doing married at first sight.
Yeah, there's something about a person you find attractive and you want to get to know them better.
You've found your fun circle and talked them up and down. Now how do I pick one to pursue romantically? Can't do how attractive I find them because that's apparently shallow. Do I try a random lottery? Or the order I first met them?
It's shallow to be attracted to someone ONLY because of their looks. Which is what is happening when you approach a woman you've never met because you like her looks.
You have a fun circle... and you are going to "PICK ONE" to get involved romantically with?
My brother, that ain't how it works.
It's shallow to stay in a relationship with someone only because of their looks. You can be attracted to any adult for any reason despite what any sanctimonious third-party says. Maybe you are demisexual but you don't get to prescribe propriety for other people anymore than heterosexuals do.
And, yes, that is how it works in most place when the conversation was and still remains about approaching women romantically. You say "hmm, this one vibes with me the most so I'll try to date her exclusively". Unless y'all agree to be polyamorous.
I'll apologize if you were just throwing in a suggestion about how to just make friends into an unrelated topic.
But I'm losing motivation to continue.
That's a shit take. If you don't know the person and don't have anyone that knows the person, that means you shouldn't approach them?
It's perfectly normal to find someone attractive. You can then learn to know the person and both can decide what to do of that relationship.
What is not acceptable is being insistent when the person says no, and breaching boundaries without getting consent.
Approach anyone you want. But if you're cold calling you've got some hurdles to clear.