this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2024
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[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 32 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I was platonic friends with a gal for several months and one day at a brunch she asked me why I never made a move on her

I told her I thought she wasn't interested to be polite, even though the truth was that I wasn't very interested. I didn't feel a strong potential for a romantic relationship, but I didn't want her to feel bad

Something personality wise didn't feel right in a relationship, but felt right to hang out with.

She told me she was interested.

I decided that I couldn't tell the future and invited her back to my place after.

We kissed for the first time, but it kind of confirmed that I wasn't super into her, and I thought I felt that she wasn't into me.

I asked her if she enjoyed the kiss, and she said "yes, of course, did you?"

So I said yes because I didn't want her to feel embarrassed.

Things progressed, and I kept checking in, and she kept telling me that she was into it, and I thought maybe sometimes attraction doesn't click right away, but we're good friends and she seemed so into it so maybe it'll be better later if our relationship progresses.

We had maybe the most awkward sex I've ever had, neither of us really dug the other's preferred positions and it was just strange in a way I've never experienced.

From my side I felt magnetically repulsed by her. That's as close a description as I can imagine.

So afterward, she said "You know I kind of didn't want to sleep with you".

I was immediately confused and horrified. I asked her why she brought it up in the first place and repeatedly told me she was into it the maybe dozen times I asked her to confirm during the deed.

She said she thought I had wanted to get together with her for a while so she went along with it even though the sex made her very uncomfortable and she didn't enjoy it. By this point I was in utter disbelief, since I had just been assuming the awkwardness was one-sided since she kept telling me she was into it, having a great time, wanted to try _____.

I confessed that I had thought the same thing, and it was a bit of a relief for both of us at the end.

We didn't have a huge laugh over it, but we didn't hate each other afterward and still hung out.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

This is a perfect example of why honesty is often better than considerate dishonesty.

[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 3 points 5 months ago

I'll go mostly on that.

I think if either of us were 100% I don't like this person, it wouldn't have gone as far as it did.

We were both curious if not enthusiastic, and it turns out she had the same idea I did.

Maybe we could try it out and if I liked her or she like me we could keep going.

But then we totally didn't and figured that out.