this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2024
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First, while hallucination is a common symptom of schizophrenia (and that includes hallucinations involving ANY of the five senses), it is not a REQUIREMENT to be diagnosed with schizophrenia.
There is nothing wrong with having a mental illness. Having a mental illness does not make you a bad person. That said, it does sound like whatever is going on with your head (whether it's schizophrenia or not) is interfering with your life in a negative way.
As much as it can seem like they don't care, most doctors aren't actively looking to screw you over, but at the same time, 1000 bucks is indeed a lot of money. You probably shouldn't be going to a psychiatrist without also going to a licensed clinical psychologist for therapy. Developing a good and trusting therapeutic relationship will give you the space to figure out what's actually going on with your head AND it will give any psychiatrist you see someone to work with to figure out diagnoses.
Please find a therapist you trust and feel safe with, possibly someone who specializes in psychosis because you seem to occasionally detach from reality (based on what you're saying at least, in my very unprofessional but somewhat educated opinion). And regardless of what you do, please don't stop trying to improve your life; you deserve to have a happy life!