this post was submitted on 02 Jun 2024
102 points (97.2% liked)
Asklemmy
43975 readers
1146 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy π
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
I can give a tangent I suppose. I, like many have a first and last name. I prefer... Military style (no idea what to call it, if it has a proper name). I've gone by this for 25+ years. I'll introduce myself as such to people I know, work with, etc. and there's usually questions... Which I can understand, generally it's people not believing that that's my name. Either it sounds too absurd to be a name or it is too absurd to be a first minute, we're honestly I totally get. A quick show of their driver's license usually sorts it out. And most people will refer to me as my last name. Only occasion someone will use my first name and it doesn't really bother me, usually. (And just be clear I don't use it like how a teacher would I use it like as if it was a first name that makes sense...).
When it does bother me is when it becomes obvious that the person is going out of their way to make sure they use only my first name. Because it is a clear sign of disrespect. And in almost every single case it's clear that the person thinks they're the first person to think of this and they think they're clever and that I don't notice. The most blatant was as individual started to say my last name, immediately stopped after the first few letters, and switched to my first name... It cannot have been more obvious that was intentional.
If itβs a clear sign of disrespect, can you say why the person wanted to disrespect you?
There's not be a single reason. In a few jobs when I was younger, it was usually the manager nobody liked, the one that let you know they weren't there to make friends... they were usually the likely ones. A girlfriends parents (again when I was younger) was split. Her Dad for a good while refused, but eventually came around. He clearly didn't like me (I think it was just an over-protective father sort of thing). More recent was someone who just had a superiority complex at work. I can only speculate as to what was wrong with this person or their motive, but they were the one that stopped "mid-name" to switch.