this post was submitted on 30 May 2024
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I think you're over thinking this. She probably just wanted you to be aroused therefore she's aroused because skin on skin contact with the one you love is arousing.
When you start to think your partner has ulterior motives then that's something you really need to work on together or let go of those thoughts.
Also when your partner says "I don't really like putting the rain coat on" it's kind of a turn off. Tough. We don't really want to feel it either but it is what it is.
Yeah, I think maybe my anxiety is taking me for a ride.
I feel like I should clarify so I don't sound like a total asshole here: the rain coat was my idea. the REQUIREMENT was my idea. I was happy to take responsibility cause it left us in a position to start trying when we decided to. Originally the plan to start trying soon. I'm happy to take responsibility for cleaning up my mess so to speak, and I'll be more than happy to go get the snip the second we decide we're done. It was certainly not a "I hate this and wish you didn't force me into it". More a tongue in cheek "Why did I think this was a good idea?". hence the surprise when she said "well, dont then!"
I don't think you're an arsehole. These are decisions that couples have to make through out their relationship. It doesn't matter whose idea it was, if that's what was decided then you need to stick to it.
Yeah I agree with CEO here. Don't forget that both partners are equally likely to get carried away in the moment, seek more intimacy and closeness and make the same dumb mistakes. If there's no history of manipulation then I would err on the side of thinking you both just made the same in-the-moment call. Breathe. Its ok. There's a lot of big emotions and tiredness over there.
That's why it's important to make decisions outside of the bedroom and stick to them.