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How should I change my polite behavior to be more accommodating? (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 6 months ago by clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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My parents raised me to always say "yes sir" and "no ma'am", and I automatically say it to service workers and just about anyone with whom I'm not close that I interact with. I noticed recently that I had misgendered a cashier when saying something like "no thank you, ma'am" based on their appearing AFAB, but on a future visit to the store they had added their pronouns (they) to their name tag. I would feel bad if their interaction with me was something they will remember when feeling down. This particular person has a fairly androgynous haircut/look and wears a store uniform, so there's no gender clue there.

I am thinking I need to just stop saying "sir" and "ma'am" altogether, but I like the politeness and I don't know how I would replace it in a gender-neutral way. Is there anything better than just dropping it entirely?

For background I'm a millennial and more than happy to use people's correct pronouns if I know them!

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[–] bernieecclestoned@sh.itjust.works 19 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Please and thank yous are enough to be polite to strangers.

[–] taladar@sh.itjust.works 6 points 6 months ago

"Good morning/day/evening" or something similar always seemed to be appreciated and "Have a nice/great day/week/weekend/..." works quite well in most situations where you or other people are leaving too.