I stopped dating normies after my first... unofficial? boyfriend. (we never called it dating but we cuddled, fucked, and cried like hell when we found out his family was moving away)

Immediately stop pretending to be normal. Dating pic? Your fursona. Your kinks? Of course, knots are a given. Future dating plans? You need a barq account. Your response to an unexpected lewd statement? "oh murr". You were made for this. Accent it, embrace it.

Seriously when I limited the dating pool to furries, the quality of the applicants skyrocketed. Being yourself, unabashed (release your inhibitions 🎶 FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR ~~SKIN~~ FUR 🎶) is fucking phenomenal. Currently I'm a pet to the sweetest dragon there is, and by extension his boyfriend, but the dragon is normally a subby boy, and before this all my partners were switches that were actually subs, so my experience is as a dommy top. It was his idea to be my Master, and it's super fun to experience; and we've known each other for 15+ years, so expectations are clear with everything from the get-go, so there's no awkwardness, the cards are on the table. He craves being vored, I need orgasm denial, our kink lists are largely incompatable, but we are making it work and enjoying it. (... and fuck it, if this awoke something in you, I am an open pet, so...)

I've been a fur now for 20 years, and I implemented this policy in... 2007? Fuck the haters (no no not like that) and just be yourself, always.

[–] hector@sh.itjust.works 41 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Wow Lemmy is eye-opening, this really is another world

[–] EldritchFeminity@lemmy.blahaj.zone 33 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Reminds me of probably my favorite motto ever, which I believe came about on Tumblr after the porn ban fiasco: Become unmarketable.

Be open and unabashedly weird. The world's much more interesting and fun when you don't sanitize your personality to avoid making puritanical people uncomfortable.

[–] hector@sh.itjust.works 20 points 6 months ago

That’s a good philosophy and quite a good recipe for making a good social network ;)

[–] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 21 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Personally, I've found that not really being into sex is a deal breaker for most people. Combine that with the fact that I have a hard time trusting people and maintaining relationships with them, and I've kinda given up.

I just want to feel wanted.

Edit, on a slightly different note: for everyone out there who is """fur-curious""" but holding back for one reason or another, stop that. I orbited the furry community for probably 15yrs before "officially" getting involved in the community a couple years ago and I seriously regret that I waited that long. People are a hell of a lot nicer here.

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 13 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

I am very, very much a person who needs sex in a relationship, but both the dragon and his bf (who I have yet to meet irl but I'm going to do my damnest to make a good impression) are quite... almost asexual. Apparently the bf even more so. We have talked about it, and the dragon is well-aware of my needs (we were roommates at one point, and going on 3y of master/pet), and so it's awkward but he tries to be supportive, and that means a lot to me. And I'm demisexual anyway, so the fact that he cares about me so much is a turn-on of itself.

I also have trust issues. My ex, whom I was engaged to, broke things off in a very painful way, telling those around him lies about me, that I did this or that. I sought therapy as I wanted to kms, being in my 20s, a stroke "survivor", unable or extremely limited in the things I love to do, and then the person I love and would do actually anything for, rips my heart out with the emotions of a stone-cold killer. I was also bullied very heavily in school, people I thought were my friends were actually terrible bastards. I have few actual friends and every day I wake up is a day of suffering. But master is trying to make me feel better about myself, remind me that my ex was abusive, that I am worth something. It's hard - I want to be close with him, I like him very much, but I don't want to be hurt again. Everything I wanted, everything I loved, brutally taken from me. I can't go through that again.

... anyway ...

While I can't offer anything meaningful, I'm just a wolf-tiger-fox hybrid on the internet, don't give up. There are so many wonderful people in this community, and yeah some of us are the deviants that your mother warned you about (looks in the mirror), there are a good bit that I've bumped into that want more... meaningful activities from a relationship. You will find someone. friendly hug!

[–] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 7 points 6 months ago

Thanks for the encouragement hugs

[–] UraniumBlazer@lemm.ee 12 points 6 months ago

Eyyy u go mate!