this post was submitted on 07 Apr 2024
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Mildly Infuriating
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Why do I think I might be mad?
A quixotic commitment to logic and reason, proven impossible to complete a century ago, even after Edward Bernays and ivy lee thrust a dagger unto the heart of truth? All realities that interacting with you really drives home. Its mildly frustrating, but it does also make me question, in little ways, if all of this is mad, and even if we can do better, we shouldn't, and I should just be trying to maximize harm at all times.
I also think you're a total asshole completely scared to have basic compassion or humanity, but, like, That's more disappointing than frustrating, and not wholly unexpected.
Damn but y are u mad though?
Shit. I guess bevause my mom never loved me. Same reason ive got a thing for older women, I bet. Theres this whole social thing where everyone says 'your mother loves you' and it was just... Harrowing as a kid? At least kids with dead moms got to just say that and people believed them? There was room for something else there, but I didn't have the luxury of being allowed to heal, every moment around that awful fucking woman was a twist of the knife, a reminder that I wasnt worthy of love, wasnt supposed to be loved. And that kind of fucked me up as I developed. There are empty places, and theres nothing I can do about them; there's nothing I can do to heal those wounds, because they can't be healed. They're just kind of always a part of me now, you know? And I'm angry about it
But I don't see what that has to do with this.
How about you? Why're you mad?
Ok but why are you mad though?
I Just told you. do you not remember? are you okay?
U mad?