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Or how about, rather than your narrow, specific 3 definitions, a fourth thing, such as how it's phrased in the wiki:
The emphasis there is why you're being called names on the internet. If you're advocating systems or societal norms of gender oppression, you're being misogynist. This remains true even if you're not doing it intentionally.
The world we live in is deeply patriarchal, so it can be hard to see these problems, because the views and opinions you've got are just "normal". Something being the norm doesn't mean it isn't oppressive, and having an opinion doesn't mean you shouldn't consider the impacts of that opinion.
Generally, if someone calls you a misogynist, and you go "bUt I rEsPeCt wOmEn", you might want to take a little time to figure out where it's coming from. It can certainly be real without fitting in your 3 tidy little self-serving definitions.
I'll also point out that you can replace nearly every instance of misogyny in this thread with racism, and replace women with black, and it would be the same discussion. Or you could swap misogyny/women with misandry/men. Oppression is oppression, no matter who holds the power.
This is such a great explanation, thanks for taking the time to write it all out.