this post was submitted on 10 Feb 2024
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People don't understand that I choose every word carefully in a sentence to convey the most meaning and answer follow-up questions up front. Then they think I said something that literally contradicts what I said or that I already accounted for in my first sentence.
Yes I'm a programmer with Autism and ADHD, why do you ask?
Sometimes it feels like the classic you said you like croissants, that must mean you hate bagels
You put in so much effort to make your point crystal clear, choosing your words extra carefully to form a sentence that means exactly what you need it to mean, and then some people just interpret the wildest things.
theory of mind enters the chat
Autistic here. I've described this to people and I'm so happy to hear other people describing it too. I hate feeling like nobody understands me, so I appreciate this a lot.
I do this enough that I'm convinced my friends gaslight me. It would be easier to just say that I'll watch something later. Instead I'll tell someone I know of it and why I haven't watched it yet. Easy for them to interpret I'm not interested and then later they'll tell me I'm not interested in it and I'll be very confused and then multiple people will agree.
The problem is that they probably never gaslight me, and that fear stems from a situation where I so vividly internalise a situation that leads to the conclusion they don't gaslight me that I forget the end result. The example being I have no idea which pronunciation of yoghurt is American and Which is British, because I used to be made fun of for saying it wrong. I only remember I was made fun of, I don't remember what I used to say or what the right way is.
Edit: The fact I bring up yoghurt tells you everything
If this is about your fellow programmers, they probably also have ADHD and missed your first sentence entirely.
the ADHD tendency to write stuff as lengthy and precise as possible vs the ADHD inability to read anything longer than two paragraphs (or less depending on how tired we are)... irresistible force meets immovable object
Two paragraphs? I can barely make it two sentences before getting bored or distracted by something
Hello, me
Are you me?