this post was submitted on 06 Feb 2024
29 points (71.6% liked)

No Stupid Questions

35822 readers
1018 users here now

No such thing. Ask away!

!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules (interactive)


Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.

All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.



Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.

Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.



Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.

Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.



Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.

That's it.



Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.

Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.



Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.

Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.

On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.

If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.



Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.

If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.

Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.



Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.



Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.

Let everyone have their own content.



Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here.



Credits

Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!

The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

As the title states really. I need to refer to this diverse group of people, who somehow have gotten put in the same box labeled "sexual minorites".

I'm a boring CISHET vanilla white male, so I don't really know. I want to include as many as I can when I refer to "lgbtq+ people". I've been studying various flags, trying to find the one flag I need. But I can't really figure it out.

Is lgbtq+ the preferred term, or what should I use? Is a flag better? I don't want to hurt someone by not including them.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Taleya@aussie.zone -2 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Mm, problem is op is a cishet. We can use words like queer and alphabet mafia, but they are...different from the mouth of an outsider (for want of a better word)

[–] growsomethinggood@reddthat.com 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I think there are ways OP can use queer respectfully, and there are ways they may accidentally slip into something that can sound homophobic, so, tread with caution. "The queer community" is fine, that reads to me with the same respect as "queer theory" in an academic setting. "The queers" =homophobic (unless you are part of that community and are being ironic), "are you queer?" =also bad, "my queer colleague" =not good unless that is the specific label they identify with, etc.

Alphabet mafia is best left to the Gen Z kids on TikTok, even as one of them queers myself I'd never use that in a serious setting.

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Yeah it's a prickly one.

[–] Mesophar@lemm.ee 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I find that take very problematic. Not because of your opinion on who can or cannot use words like queer, but because you aren't giving a meaningful alternative. What language should an ally use to avoid stepping on someone's toes?

Personally, I think intent is very important in this sort of context, so I don't see issue with words like queer when used earnestly in support. Though I know my experience isn't universal, and I think OP sees that and is trying to be mindful.

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

They do have options though - lgbt, lgbtqa, lgbtqa+, even 'gay community' are all widely used .

Although i saw an auto-transcriber turn lgbtqa into 'legittabittaque-ah" once, which i feel we all desperately need to add to our lexicon.

[–] Mesophar@lemm.ee 1 points 9 months ago

Perfect! I assumed those were the alternatives you'd meant, but without saying them I wasn't sure.

[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

It seems that people disagree with you, based on your votes. I don't get it, I am an outsider, I'm going to stay an outsider. No matter how many black friends I had, I would never consider using the N-word either, because I'm not black, I'm not a member of the community, and I don't know how it is to live your life under those circumstances.

So as OP I can honestly say that I'm not really considering "queer". One thing, as I've already ranted above, is that an English context its history is in a derogatory usage, and shaking that past is difficult, and impossible for me to comfortably pull off. But in a Danish context the word makes no sense. "Trans" and the various permutations of the letters are used in Danish, but "queer" never has been. I believe the closest word would be "bøsse", but that is strictly used to describe homosexual men.

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 2 points 9 months ago

Eh, it's the internet, we're talking about queer matters and I intimated there may be something the cishet can't have. I wouldn't read into the downvotes lol.

Identifying as Queer or using the word Queer can even be contentious among certain circles within the community itself these days, depending on your generation and terf/tumblr exposure. i wouldn't stick my foot in that beartrap if I were in your shoes. Generally referring to it as The Community is good though.