this post was submitted on 26 Jan 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

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3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

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2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

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9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


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[–] Mango@lemmy.world 57 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Transactional.

Keeping score isn't love.

[–] platypus_plumba@lemmy.world 20 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

I'd totally get her to suck my dick 10 times per day and never nag again. This seems like a good deal.

I can pee and throw up 10 times per day, no issues.

"Honey, the kids are taking 5 lunches to school today, I'm adding the stickers myself, thanks".

[–] aesthelete@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago (3 children)

I can pee and throw up 10 times per day, no issues.

Am I the only one alarmed that he's cleaning up so much vomit? I mean I get that he wants the BJs, but is he feeding the kids syrup of ipecac sandwiches?

[–] doggle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Very young kids puke sometimes. It happens. We also don't know how long it took him to get all those stickers. Could've been over the course of a few months or longer.

[–] aesthelete@lemmy.world 0 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

It's 3x as often as he does the dishes at any rate; he must not be a big drinker.

EDIT: It's 2x as often as he puts the toilet seat down as well...must not have to go pee pee very often.

EDIT2: For people with the "toilet seat down" problem, just get a toilet seat that slow closes on its own...they're like 20 bucks and then you can just tap the top of the top part of the seat and it does the rest of the work.

[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 5 points 10 months ago

Plot twist: daddy is bulemic.

[–] bruhduh@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago

His face tells it

[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It is when you want mommy to reward your super duper work because your a very good boy.

[–] Mango@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

Yeah, but I wouldn't call my relationship with my mom "love" either.