I'm currently the one being cut off from someone and I feel like shit... I double-booked a thing and now they think I suck and am not reliable. And it's probably true. I'm so bad at dates and remembering to write things down, but I want to change. This is probably the push I need to remember forever now, but don't want to lose my friend group over it. Fuck, I hate myself so much.

Oh hey, that whole type of rant is on the list,too lol.

[–] experbia@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Hey man,

you're probably fine. I don't know the details, but humans are fallible. you're only human. friends should know this, they're only human too. I doubt these friends have all been perfect all the time, and I doubt they'll do everything perfect from here on out.

If it caused a problem, tell them the truth. you double booked. you had to pick one over the other. you feel bad you flaked. you don't intend to make it a habit.

if it cost people something, consider making it up somehow. but I would propose that unless it's cost them real bad, good friends ought to accept the apology without expecting the compensation. they'll mess up someday too, and it's better for everyone to be kind.

don't hate yourself. it does no good for anyone. counterproductive and undeserved. develop a system to help you. you can't always change your nature, but you can build around it.

[–] Shyfer@ttrpg.network 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Thanks. I needed this.

[–] Tedrick02@lemmy.today 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I know it's hard to get in the habit, but take out your phone when making any plans or appointments, get the calendar app out and add it as it happens. Don't wait even 1 minute. Feel free to tell the person you're adding it to the calendar as you do it if you feel like you're being rude. I set reminder notifications for all appointments based on how much notice I would need if I completely forgot about it.

[–] h3mlocke@lemm.ee 1 points 10 months ago

Yeah I've been doing this ever since I got a smart phone

[–] stoly@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Remember that emotional dysregulation is a very common thing among the general population and many cannot separate that they are frustrated with a situation and being frustrated with you. You don't really want to be around people capable of such heavy levels of judgement or an unwillingness to be charitable in their interpretations of others.

[–] stoly@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

Yeah pretty much I spent years being traumatized by idiots before I realized that most people are stupid and not worth your time. Once I understood that, life became so much better. I am now of the opinion that few people are worth the drama they bring to your lives, and your real goal is to find those few who are worth it.