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People who can don't get mad and just go with the flow, how do you do it? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 year ago by hactar42@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Here recently it seems like everything just gets under my skin so quickly and easily. It's not that I get mad and take it out on others, it's just the fact that I'm constantly annoyed and stressed. Something as simple as the dogs tracking some mud through the house will just ruin my mood. I know some people who would just laugh it off and clean it up. Meanwhile I'll get pissed that I didn't wipe their feet and be mad the entire time I'm cleaning it up. This has nothing to do with the dogs, it just an example. Any number of seemingly insignificant things can trigger me like that. Like forgetting something at the store and having to go back. I would love to be able to go, "well that sucks" and just get over it.

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[–] Bleumunkie@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

The easiest way someone explain this to me which really made it click -

Something potentially annoying or shitty happens... Think about how long it will actually matter for.

Will it matter in an hour? Will it matter in a day? Will it matter in a month? What about a year?

The longer it actually matters for, the more emotional effort you can feel justified putting into it.

I guarantee that the dogs tracking muddy footprints through the house won't matter in an hour - and just answering that question for yourself usually takes all the charge out of your emotion.

If it will matter in a year such as something big like a relationship crisis that could upheave your life.... Well maybe it's actually worth getting stressed about.

The best part about this is you can actually lie to everyone else, but you cannot lie to yourself about how long it will matter for and just asking yourself the question has the effect whether or not you want to be angry and say yes it will matter.