Ask Lemmy
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Because that is literally the case. The server you're using right now (for free, mind you) belongs to someone else. That someone provides the service to house your posts and comments, and you really wonder why "they" have the last word?
Imagine you'd open your doors for a bunch of strangers but politely ask them to not make a mess. Someone dumps their garbage on the floor. You ask them to clean up and/or leave, and they reply with an indignant "OMG you act as if this was your house!"
Our posts and comments are the treasure here.
A better analogy would be a bank. You deposit some money and then the bank says "this is my money".
That would be fucked up. Right?
If you insist on this example, then don't forget that the "bank" made you agree to the terms and conditions when opening your bank account, in which it is clearly stated that the cash you deposit belongs to the bank then. If you don't want to give the "bank" your money, then just don't deposit it, easy as that.
When you created your account on lemm.ee you had to agree to the terms and conditions of the fediverse. And now you complain about things that you agreed to as if it was some sort of conspiracy to retroactively f*ck over clueless customers. I don't really get where your issue is.
If you want an online service to publicly house your "treasure" (content) without giving other people the rights to use/censor said content, you can simply create your own instance anytime you want and apply your own rules - but then it will cost you money because servers don't run on love and sunshine. And if you want that very service to be free of charge and provided by someone else, then you have to play by their rules.
I don't think the bank is a good analogy, you get a benefit out of using their infrastructure which isnt represented in your example.
It's more like someone running a makerspace, you can come use all the machinery they've put in and produce whatever you want (within some rules of the owner) even in collaboration with others. But they've put a clause in the contract that they get a copy of everything you produce there.
In the end you're getting the benefit of using their machinery and space to collaborate and they're getting a copy of your content. You can either decide that deal is worth it or start your own space.