this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2023
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I apologize if this isn't allowed, but I wasn't sure exactly where to put it. Just let me know if it's inappropriate and I'll delete. Thanks.

I'm a loner, so my life is basically just work and the internet. Two of my coworkers are among my favorite people in the whole world, but one of them doesn't like the other one and will complain to me about how they don't like them.

We work incredibly closely together...only a few feet apart for hours on end. Our job also necessitates that we frequently communicate with one another. In the beginning, I absolutely loved it and there was no conflict.

Now, I often get my one coworker complaining to me that the other is lazy. And I'm not going to lie, the "lazy" one definitely takes more breaks than everyone and doesn't at all work as hard as the others. But that doesn't really bother me because she's a super incredibly nice and friendly person.

But over time it has bothered my hardworking coworker more and more and driven a wedge into what I would have once considered to be a friendship between the 3 of us.

It never gets to the point where there is yelling or arguments or anything, but it absolutely ruins the mood and then I hear about it later.

I interact with these people for hours on end every single day and I'm just not sure how to handle it. I've been struggling to know how to deal with it for months now.

To top it all off it gives me endless paranoia that the hardworking coworker secretly resents me and hates me too. This stuff never used to happen before, but know I feel like it's all that happens.

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[–] corus_kt@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago

If the hardworking coworker secretly resents you, she'd be unlikely to be sharing this with you too at least. I used to have a similar situation, over time I opted to work harder with the hardworking one and just laugh off his bitching, somehow the three of us managed to get along in the end with minor backroom complaints. Dude just wanted to vent so only pushing back gently when the complaints got silly worked well. The slower worker just wasn't a problem even if it felt tense between her and the dude.

No idea if this anecdote helps whatsoever, but I wish you the best. You sound like you're in a rather uncomfortable situation.