this post was submitted on 10 Dec 2023
47 points (92.7% liked)
Asklemmy
44149 readers
976 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Oh god 💔 I’m fine doing that about her jumping on the stove or something that can endanger her, but if it’s just annoying me, I don’t want to cramp her style. I know that’s nuts, but luckily she’s a very well behaved cat whom I adopted as an already trained adult. I’ll recruit my husband for moral support 😅
The more you use any trick the less effective it is. This is with anything, anywhere, anyone. You MUST pick your battles.
That's why I have zero respect for parents who constantly threaten the children with something + everyone puts on a show ("Nooooo, Nooooo, Nooooooo?!!!!!) and it somehow deescalates to "Well alright, stop fucking around" --> nothing is learned and nobody learns it
Yeah. I am 100% not cut out for rearing anything, as I try to reason respectfully with whatever I’m interacting with. It was hard to realize that my niece doesn’t actually care why she can’t eat candy, but just wanted to distract me with a conversation so she could sneak candy.
I’m actually getting my masters in education (language instruction for adults, thank god), and even with fully capable adults there’s a lot of classroom management that I just have to put on a fake strict teacher persona and power through. If you try to do something and then walk it back, you’re always lost though.
Nothing wrong with reasoning respectfully but you have to have an agenda to assertively orchestrate why you're doing it and realize that if you always say things without backing them up, you don't have any legitimacy
Everyone can do it tho. Its all boundary-setting and enforcing. You figure out what you want and what you need, enforce the needs, and negotiate down the wants on both sides of the table. You have to make sure you get what you need but that you are flexible on the "nice to haves" as long as everyone is being heard and validated on the needs and again, the wants are open to negotiaton but you gotta be practical and never mistake the two