this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2023
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[–] Squirrel@thelemmy.club 42 points 11 months ago (3 children)

I (37M) recently caught myself getting frustrated when my wife offered solutions to my ranting. I just wanted to complain and not be told all the ways I could have avoided the problem in the first place. I finally understand.

[–] Sadbutdru@sopuli.xyz 21 points 11 months ago

Yes! It totally happens to everyone, once you notice it. Best self-awareness/relationship advice I've heard is say something like "Are you looking for advice, or someone to listen?". Phrasing and tone to be adjusted by the individual user, obviously XD

[–] TheDoozer@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

There is, I think, a significant difference between giving suggestions on how to resolve an issue, and a person offering ways you could have prevented it. And I would hazard most people find the latter unhelpful and annoying.

[–] pomodoro_longbreak@sh.itjust.works 5 points 11 months ago

Thank you, yeah it's like sometimes you just have to work through it before you hear some suggestions.