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I agree and that's kinda the problem, I thought lemmy would be the place I could replace reddit with, it's just not what I'd hoped it would be and for a very left leaning platform doesn't seem nearly as accepting as I'd expect.
That's not always the case obviously and even today I've had a discussion about distros as I was fed up not knowing what they were, people were polite and helpful explaining which is great, but that feels like the exception rather than the rule when I'm just browsing comments.
I feel like the reddit api drama was a huge opportunity for lemmy to grow but it shit the bed a bit (or rather, the users did collectively) and people like me have left in droves. Reddit has always been circlejerky and it's probably the worst thing about it, but that almost feels like the MO of most lemmy instances.
There's good and bad obviously, I'm not saying lemmy is a desolate wasteland where all users are coders who berate anyone who can't write in python (probably an awful example, not a coder), there's just an awfully strong feeling of "if you don't do what we do then you're wrong" in my opinion.
Ultimately I'm here 5months later so I don't hate the platform by any means, but I'd be nowhere near it if reddit hadn't been so greedy earlier this year. Not enough users and not enough breadth of topics to be properly engaging for a simpleton like me.