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Check on your male friends to see if they need help (slrpnk.net)

submitted 11 months ago by spaduf@slrpnk.net to c/curatedtumblr@sh.itjust.works

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[–] pigup@lemmy.world 42 points 11 months ago (2 children)

My wife went through IVF, pregnancy and birth, our kid was in NICU with serious issue. Through IVF, the entire pregnancy birth and NICU stay, I was treated like a second class citizen. I went to every IVF, OB appointment and every other appointment. my wife was treated like the grand center of attention which is great, but I did feel the pressure to keep my mouth shut and essentially not be part of any discussion. I suppose a lot of deadbeat men and absent fathers have ruined it for men who actually show up for their wives and their families. Tough shit for me right.

[–] Nouveau_Burnswick@lemmy.world 20 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I feel you.

My wife doesn't get extra parental (just the provincial 70/55%), I get topped up to 93%. Combined with other factors, it was pretty easy math that I'd get the lion's share of the shared weeks.

I get berated for it a lot. One nurse wouldn't see my kid until I she called my wife and confirmed she wasn't coming to the appointment.

It's really annoying constantly explaining that I am capable of being a caregiver to my child, that I don't miss working, and that I don't feel like I'm ruining my wife's chance to bond with our kid.

Haters can suck on my excellent fathering skills.