this post was submitted on 23 Oct 2023
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I started to post yesterday, but I was feeling down for no discernable reason, and I couldn't think of anything to say other than how awful I felt. Today, thankfully, I feel a lot better.
Much to my joy, my youngest (who is 20 years old) has agreed that, instead of me scrambling around looking for perfect, expensive presents for Christmas for everyone (which is pretty much exclusively my job), we're all just going to buy stocking stuffers for each other and let each person buy their own expensive things instead of expecting me to do it for them. It just seems so ridiculous to me that I got my kids addicted to a Christmas celebration that often left me so burned out that I'd spend the week between Christmas and New Year's in bed. We're not even Christian, and my kids are adults, so why on earth am I still killing myself to make the day perfect for them, when they have no interest in doing the same for me? We all have similar incomes, so this seems very fair to me. I hope it will take some of the stress out of the coming season.
Finally, I'm starting to feel better on CPAP. Got a full face mask instead of those horrific nasal pillows (I don't get how having something shoved into your nostrils is supposed to be the most comfortable option, especially when I had to tape my mouth shut to make them work at all!). I kept waking up flat on my back, when I haven't been able to breathe while laying on my back since the mid-1990s. Checked my data using OSCAR, and have learned a whole lot. Apparently, with a CPAP and a full face mask, I can both breathe and sleep just fine on my back- last night I only spent thirteen seconds total in apnoea- and I've had some episodes of deep sleep that lasted more than an hour, when I couldn't maintain deep sleep for two minutes with untreated apnoea.
This of course makes me wonder if I've actually had apnoea since the mid-1990s and how much damage I've done to my brain. At my age I doubt I will get all of it back.
I'm concerned about my eldest, who seems very dull and quiet lately. They've been a hardcore tech person since they were a toddler (not even exaggerating) and are now saying things like "I just leave all settings on default, it's easier", and not even bothering to do a search when they run into issues with things. They are behaving like my 73-year-old husband and it's super worrying because they will be 29 next month. I wish I knew what to do to help them.
I also need to stop treating this thread like it's my personal blog, haha.
I feel you on the Christmas tradition! My family sets price caps on presents and I think it saves a lot of stress. Ever since I was 21 or so, the best part of Christmas was the food and the celebration, not the presents.
Sleep is so important and it’s great you’ve got a solution with a cpap machine now. Well done!
As for your techie child, it may be part of an ongoing trend in tech that things are getting worse instead of better - I feel that myself, and I know my friends do too - but they could also just be growing out of their hobbies and exploring new aspects of life. After working at a tech job I don’t want to spend my evenings at a computer any more, so I’ve started riding motorbikes and getting into photography, gardening and other outdoorsy stuff in the last few years.
I know it's common for the holidays to feel stressful. But it shouldn't. Nevermind religious connotations, it's meant to be a festive time culturally. Let it be that! And it sounds like you're trying to be on that track.