this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2023
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Are you able to just kind of socialize and get involved in stuff without as many second thoughts? Or make and share stuff with less of an imposter syndrome or whatever you might call it when you're uncomfortable being associated with your work?

Or is it like so many things, where it kind of depends on how things are going that day?

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[–] Nemo@midwest.social 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I have very positive self image.

just kind of socialize and get involved in stuff without as many second thoughts

Yes, this is easy for me. It's still tiring, but I don't worry about it before or afterwards. I still get embarrassed if I make a faux pas, of course, but I move on and try to learn from it.

make and share stuff with less... uncomfortable being associated with your work

Not sure I understood this part. If I was uncomfortable with what I made, I wouldn't share it. I'd try again until I had something worthwhile. Not perfect, but at least interesting.

As I understand it, "imposter syndrome" is a feeling like one is uniquely unqualified compared to everyone else. But the reality is that most people are more-or-less bullshitting their way through life, outside of a half-dozen areas of actual competency. The reality is also that it's okay to still be learning something you're trying to do. And the reality is also that no one remembers your mistakes better than you.

Everyone is most comfortable doing things we're already good at. But it's okay to not be comfortable, and to not be good at something, as long as the stakes aren't too high (like, you should be good at driving before taking the wheel of a busfull of schoolchildren, obviously).

Oh, and remember that most people are amoral idiots with no sense of beauty and their opinions aren't worth shit. If they don't like your stuff, so what? They know nothing. The people worth impressing are the ones most likely to be understanding and compassionate, because they're the ones who struggled and strove and valued learning themselves.

[–] ALostInquirer@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not sure I understood this part. If I was uncomfortable with what I made, I wouldn’t share it. I’d try again until I had something worthwhile. Not perfect, but at least interesting.

To clarify, what I was trying to describe there was not being uncomfortable with what was made, just like...Having to be the one presenting/sharing it because of self-image/confidence issues. Sort of like you could be proud of an essay you wrote, but the moment someone asks you to read it for others or develop it into something more robust that might be published, you just want to totally disappear.

I wasn't really sure how to put it when I wrote the post awhile ago, but maybe this helps a little.

[–] Nemo@midwest.social 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ah, so, you're confident in your work, but you don't want any attention on you personally? That I can sympathize with for sure, even though I'm a bit of an exhibitionist personally.

[–] ALostInquirer@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

Basically, yeah. Not really sure how much it's to do with self-image/confidence or what (maybe it's plain ol' social anxiety? 🤷‍♀️ ), hence that side of the question.

Imposter syndrome felt like the closest fit at the time, but it's definitely not an exact match.