this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2023
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Something I've always wondered is what kind of women were in the lives of incel men when they were young. Did they have a bad relationship with their mother? Did they lack sisters or other female family members? Or is their family situation irrelevant? Maybe some particular situation in their early years caused them to develop a complex around women?

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[–] nicetomeetyouIMVEGAN@lemmings.world -1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Privilege is the key stone foundational to understanding what incels are trying to get. If you're brushing it aside nothing but a superficial understanding about dating remains and becomes useless in formulating any sort of solution to the problem.

Yeah superficially incels are about dating and seducing. But this doesn't explain anything. In fact it is what incels themselves claim the solution is, in getting better at seduction and dating. So basically your solution would be exactly the same as the incel solution. Should make you think.

[–] bouh@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is not a matter of privileges. The machist stance is a fall back. The privileges are a cherry on the cake.

Is it too hard to understand that many people only someone to live with? And that the frustration of not getting it can completely destroy a personality? Then they're suggested a easy solution.

It is a radicalisation process. Arabs are given terrorism. Single young white boys are given machism.

Idiots solutions to these is to fight them. Progressive and smart solutions are to understand why they are destroyed in the first place and prevent it. Abandoned middle classes are given fascism.

Living happy in solitude is not a solution.

On a side note I'm pretty sure you can link a part of the suicides to this problem. Obviously dead young boys don't become incels though.

[–] nicetomeetyouIMVEGAN@lemmings.world 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is what I mean. You're just saying that what incels experience is a lack of love/companionship. Exactly the same thing that incels demand from women. You're both just looking at the same solution, of how to give these boys company. That they are caught between a rock and a hard place.

But that's exactly what the man-o-sphere is telling these people. Your analysis is no different than what Andrew tate, Jordan peterson, etc. would say. That feminism has caused a shift in society that leads to a lack of family values, commitment, common sense, etc. That the freedom women have are detrimental, because they now have the freedom to deny you that love and companionship.

What are you going to say now? Because not a word is an explicit lie here. Feminism has caused more divorce, more freedom for women, greater self worth for women, sexual freedom, higher demands on men. It's just true. So the type of superficially gesturing at boys lacking companionship is only just helping incels into the pipeline. It means nothing, it's not an analysis. You're completely missing the point.

[–] bouh@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No. I am absolutely not saying that.

I am saying that the usual way men and women get together is an old patriarcal way. And thus, when a man look into how to get into a relationship, he is dragged into this shit hole.

Hence, society needs to change the way men and women date and seduce eachother so that this way is healthier, more feminist.

Somehow the only answer people have is "get used to being alone" or "stop being a shitty person". That's a short sighted and stupid answer to the problem.

Can you understand that? Or do you must always fall back on the irrelevant privileges stuff?

It is not a superficial problem. It is the root of how men and women interact together. Turning a blind eye on it only serves the fascists you named.

[–] nicetomeetyouIMVEGAN@lemmings.world 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sorry but you're just rewriting the same problem of these boys lacking companionship and femism is to blame for it. Sorry but it's just a lack of understanding on your part.

The loss of privilege is exactly what is causing the perceived problem of a lack of companionship/love. It's again, the main foundation of any critique. I'm totally not aware of anybody except people in the manosphere itself who critique the problem like you do.

You're absolutely incorrect.

[–] bouh@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You're trolling at this point.

[–] nicetomeetyouIMVEGAN@lemmings.world 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

You're the one who says that inceldom can be cured by dating them in a 'feminist' way.

Hence, society needs to change the way men and women date and seduce eachother so that this way is healthier, more feminist.

Get right out of here with claiming I'm the troll. I just want everybody who reads this to understand that your 'analysis' is incorrect and is literally just the incel solution.